You know Christmas is coming when...

...employees of the Bureau of Customs in our international airports are in their usual "pahingi" or "Merry Christmas!" mode.

3 BOC personnel sacked for harassing Fil-Am entertainer

MANILA, Philippines - Three Customs examiners are in hot water for allegedly asking for “free samples” of promotional shirts from a visiting Filipino-American entertainer at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA).

The three – Omar Indol, Samuel Saed and Cecilia Venzon – were relieved from their posts and transferred to the Human Resource Management Division (HRMD) pending investigation, Customs commissioner Napoleon Morales said Thursday.

“Apparently, the examiners asked for samples of the T-shirts which is against the bureau’s policies because this is not a commercial importation where you check the merchandise for right valuation and classifications,” Morales said. (Click GMA News TV for the rest.)

ON a personal note, there was one Christmas my Aunt from the U.S. came home and she told me she spent almost $50 just because of the "pahingi" of those people assigned at the NAIA –– from the baggage handlers, Immigration agents to the Customs examiners. I told her she shouldn't have forked over any cash but she said she just wanted to quickly get out of the airport and away from the bedlam. These balikbayans and other foreign visitors sure get a warm welcome at the NAIA don't they? ngek.

* * * *
In another instance, two lady Thai chefs who were recently asked to come in as part of a hotel's Thai food festival also received the same fate. They brought in special spices, not a lot, but were needed for their cooking; the Customs examiners also charged them a humongous amount of duties. Duties daw! Of course, the chefs were not given a receipt for said duties, so the hotel, owned by a Filipino-Chinese taipan, can't reimburse them. And btw, said taipan absolutely forbids his employees to give bribes to, or fix government employees.

Hay kaluoy naman these two nice Thai ladies. No one from the hotel briefed them about what to expect at the NAIA. And now they are probably swearing off from ever returning to the Philippines.

* * * *
But passengers arriving at the NAIA aren't the only ones getting a warm welcome from the Customs examiners these days. Even those landing at the Diosdado Macapagal International Airport in Clark, Pampanga are getting harrassed as well.

Just recently, my friend Miggy's husband bought her an LV Trevi purse during a trip to Malaysia, and of course, so as not to crush the bag, he just hand-carried it on his flight home. Upon arrival at the DMIA, the Customs examiners asked him to pay duties on the bag. Teka, teka...are you guys kidding? The bag is for personal use!

Miggy's husband would've understood and gladly paid the importation duties if he was bringing an entire luggage full of stuff to sell but he's no viajero. He's just a loving husband bringing home a nice bag as a present for his lovely wife! Incensed at the unreasonableness of the Customs examiners, Miggy finally called a top DMIA honcho, after which her husband and the bag were let through. E talaga namang mali sila noh!

According to Miggy, her hubby was on the same flight as OFWs and she supposes, the Customs examiners just thought he was one of them and targeted him for their no-good tricks. Ang kapal! But then when you think about corruption, how apt the name of the airport dontcha think? Monkey see, monkey do.

Libre ang mangarap di ba?

Something Like Life
Nov. 30, 2007

BEGINNING tomorrow, December 1, we have exactly 23 days to get our Christmas lists in order, subtracting the friends we haven’t seen for ages or adding new ones to the list (including new bosses for the proverbial sipsip gifts), and getting all our shopping done before the clock strikes midnight to herald the Christ Lord’s birth.

I’m almost done, having eliminated most of my lovable and understanding friends from my list and pleading poverty again this year, but I still need to get in order the gifts for the godchildren (with a plus-one courtesy of Iris this year).

After having had a less-than-productive shopping expedition with Fil at the International Bazaar at the PICC, I’m looking forward to a three-day shopping extravaganza at the St. James Bazaar in Alabang beginning today. Hopefully by this Sunday, I would be all done with my gift-buying, allowing me to concentrate on my own needs next. After all, I’ve toiled, sweated and run around godknowswhere, just to earn honest decent wages from my writing, so it’s time I get some rewards in return.

And I do have a lot of dream gifts for this Christmas, not that I can afford them all. But perhaps I can take a cue from the wildly popular video/book The Secret and focus all my positive thoughts and energies on these gifts. I shall visualize receiving these wonderful goodies and, for sure, most of them will be handed to me effortlessly. And, nah, I’m not going to wish for any of that “peace and goodwill to all men” crap that everyone unabashedly says when the klieg lights and cameras are switched on in their direction. I’m all pure materialism this year.

My 10 dream gifts this Christmas are:

Ananda in the Himalayas

1. A 10-day free stay in all the best spas in the world, with complimentary massages, body treatments and yoga instruction. These should include Reethi Rah in the Maldives, Banyan Tree in Phuket, the Ananda in the Himalayas and, just for kicks, the Four Seasons Biltmore Resort in Santa Barbara, just because Vanity Fair columnist Christopher Hitchens stayed there and tried to get an extreme makeover.

2. A monthlong cooking, eating and drinking tour of Tuscany, Italy, preferably, of course, with some gorgeous hunka-hunka burning love I’ll probably meet over there. Who knows, I’ll probably move there permanently. Think Diane Lane in Under the Tuscan Sun, right Francine?

3. The freakin’ P3.2-million, 103-inch Panasonic plasma TV everyone’s been talking about. While I have no room in my mother’s townhouse to put it in, I can probably have it installed in the garage and watch all first-rate, still-to-be shown-in-local-theaters movies on DVD. Of course, I will have to charge my neighbors P200 each if they want watch the movies with me. That P3.2 million will be paid up for in no time. Uh-huh, I’m so smart, aren’t I? Don’t you wish we were friends?

4. Full-course lunch or dinner at French Laundry with chef-turned-TV host/book author Anthony Bourdain. I saw a long-ago episode of Bourdain’s TV show where he and his chef buddies dined at what has been called one of the best restaurants in the world, and everyone looked like they were having fun with the tasting menu alone and the wine just flowing. This time, I’ll do the eating and Bourdain will provide the laughs (along with the credit card to pay the bill). We will have fun roasting that perennially perky fake cook Rachel Ray! Ooof! What the hell was Oprah thinking?

French Laundry's Atlantic Halibut (Photo from KQED.org)

5. Majority ownership in at least one hugely profitable listed firm, like SM Investments, PLDT (yeah, even if Smart Communications is ever so slow to release my new phone under my retention policy) or Globe Telecommunications (just to get back at Smart), JG Summit Holdings and Metrobank. There are other companies that are attractive but I’m still too busy plotting the takeover of the other firms. Besides, I don’t want to appear too greedy…duh.

6. My own vineyard and winery in New Zealand, which produces some of the most exciting wines in the world these days. I had the good fortune of touring the Villa Maria Estate years before NZ wines were introduced in the local market and marveled at the modern processes used to produce its award-winning wines (large steel barrels in place of oak, and screwcaps instead of corks). I shall become the best world producer of award-winning Pinot Noirs, Shiraz and Sauvignon Blancs.

7. The Jodie Ankle Boot from Louis Vuitton, which, I swear, is the most fabulous ankle boot ever! Made of canvas and calf leather, the brown boot just looks oh-so-comfortable even with its four-inch heel. I like it also because the LV monogram detail is subtle, unlike the ones on those fake LV bags available at your friendly tindera in the Greenhills tiangges. I especially love the metal rivets and tiny buckle detail. I stumbled on the Jodie after dreaming about a pair of LV boots, which set me off googling photos of LV boots one entire day.

8. The untitled 1954 oil on canvas by HR Ocampo displayed in the function room of the Bank of the Philippine Islands named after the artist. Or perhaps Pablo Amorsolo’s portraits of the Women of Rizal hanging in the BPI chairman’s office? Yes, some art for Christmas may be good for the soul, and will undoubtedly also raise one’s market value in the eyes of envious friends. And you all thought I was shallow!

Lake Como, Italy (Photo from Student Brittanica)

9. A house in the Southhamptons or maybe in Lake Como in Italy where all my friends and I can play all day. There’s nothing like exchanging gossip over cocktails with Vera Wang, Renée Zellwegger, and George Soros at the Hamptons abode, or having dinner with gorgeous George Clooney and his Ocean 12 buddies at my lakeside retreat. Of course, my friends will have to pay for their own airfare and land transport to get there. Sorry, darlings, no such thing as a free lunch!

And last but not the least:

10. Tony Leung. Need I explain?

LV dreams

This isn't the one I dreamed about but it's sexy. I'd love to wear this! I found it on the Designer Exposure web site kaso it's sold na e. Ewan ko lang, it could be fake kasi $300 something lang cos it's on sale. Haaay.

Dang! I must be reading too much of Chuvaness again. Even her Louis Vuitton obsession is invading my dreams!

Anyway, going back...this afternoon I was dreaming I was shopping in Rustan's and there was an ongoing sale. From a hundred feet away, my eyes automatically zoomed on a pair of LV ankle boots! They were like magnets that pulled me in (I dunno how I got to the display shelf so fast without bumping into other shoppers) and I picked them up marveling at them like works of art.

Each boot was like in almost clear plastic with the LV logo in white stamped all over and the top of the ankle part was trimmed in beige in the same fabric, while towards the sole, the area was also in beige until the medium stack heel. Hello?! I dunno why it was in plastic or looked like it was plastic, it's a dream nga noh?, but the pair looked really good to me. I thought it was so perfect to wear during this rainy season.

(Just as a back story: I've been a boot girl since the late '80s and currently own about six pairs all in leather, mostly right above the ankle and one covering my calf. The last is my favorite because of its classic short sloping stacked heel, burgundy color and oh-so-soft leather. I bought the pair on sale in London and altough made in Italy, it cost me the equivalent of only P5,000. Of course this was like three years ago but the pair is really matibay and still fashionable because of its classic look. Talk about value for money!)

So I asked the saleslady how much the LV pair costs and she told me P22,000. I gasped! and she quickly added that it was already 90% off! Man, that's one expensive pair of boots! I told the saleslady that I wouldn't be able to sleep well that night thinking of the lovelies. I looked up to the ceiling, at the other customers, and circled the shelf where the boots were on display about a hundred times, as I tried to compute how much I would pay each month if I charged the purchase to my credit card. I was almost sure I was gonna whip out the plastic, but then I awoke with a start. My mom was knocking on my door because the reupholsterer was already downstairs to meet with us. Saved!

But this one takes the cake! Found it on eluxury.com, supposedly the only site where you can buy real LV goods 'cos the company owns it. Shet ang gandah! Pati ang price...$1,180.00 lang naman. Lord, make me win the lotto pls!)

Now I'm mildly obsessing whether the pair of LV boots I dreamed about actually exists that I've been googling "Louis Vuitton plastic boots" like mad for about 30 minutes already. So if anyone knows if such a pair has ever been manufactured, please tell me and end my suffering! Kalowka!