When you're past your 40th birthday

IT had been a most unusual day.

I woke up rather early, at 5 am, and couldn’t go back to sleep. I watched Cate Blanchett’s Elizabeth: The Golden Age while waiting for Sis to wake up so we could have breakfast. Usually, it is she who wakes up early and eats breakfast while she leaves me alone lolling in Dreamland.

We were in Boracay with Pangs for my birthday last weekend and even before we arrived, the island had been suffering from a spot of unusual weather, battered as we were by strong gusty winds and intermittent rainshowers. Phooey!

There were hardly any people awake as we went down to the resort’s restaurant for our morning meal. We plunked down in an empty cabana, and I stared at the breakfast menu for the first time in three days since we arrived.

After giving out our food orders, we stared at the dark heavy clouds and shuddered in the cold winds. I wondered when I would ever get to swim in the beach and if the sun would ever sneak a peek from behind those billows in the sky. Then the faint strains of some groovy ’70s Motown music started wafting through the restaurant speakers, feel-good doo-wops that my older siblings were singing and dancing to back when I still toddled behind them. Sis and I were like, “Wowwww!” Suddenly the gray morning didn’t look so bad anymore.

As The Moments’ “Love on a Two-way Street” played away, we heartily dug into our bangus belly à la pobre and beef lugao. We swayed and sung along as we laughed and exchanged stories. We were amused at how these songs from our childhood, tunes from Pangs’s CD as we later found out, just put us in a freakishly good mood. They just made us feel that everything was perfect and all right in the world. Stories of Benjamin Abalos and his $130-million cut, the raging controversy on the ZTE-NBN deal, just seemed so far away. It was as if these songs held a promise of better things to come.

We were not disappointed. As soon as we were done with our meal and finished with our coffee, the pillow-like gray clouds began to part, and the sun’s rays finally broke through. Yay! The powdery white sand was finally dotted with shadows from the beach umbrellas, the tables and chairs, and the people walking. Salamat, Lord!

Still, the waters were just much too cold for swimming. I froze my hefty buns off as soon as I set them down on the water, which made me instantly leap up and run back to shore. Brrrr!

But when you get to be my age -- for the record, it is 23 forever -- you learn to appreciate the small stuff. At least the sun was out, and although shaded by a huge beach umbrella as I lounged on the beach bed, I was enjoying a mild dose of vitamin D. I read my magazine, spied on the young gorgeous European hunks nearby playing volleyball, and sipped on my cool mango shake...what more could I ask for?

I take my birthdays very seriously. It is usually a time for me to offer up my thanks to the Great Almighty above for all the blessings in the past year, as I look forward to another one full of exciting possibilities. It’s just like celebrating the New Year, as my reflections take on a more individual, closer-to-the-soul note.

Unfortunately, there are certain realities one cannot escape as one rushes past 40.

Like, no matter how my brain thinks I’m still in my 20s or 30s, there are just some days I wake up in the morning with the wind whistling through my bones. I am creaky all over and feel too tired to get up. Of course, my age is also an advantage, because this is probably the only time in my life when I can actually declare that, fudge all that! I shall stay in bed the entire day! If I were in my 20s and 30s, I’d still get up, despite a hangover or a fluish condition, and haul my carcass to the office.

I can’t hold my liquor as long as I used to. Time was when I could start drinking from 6 pm until 4 am the next morning, and still go to work the next morning. These days, three glasses of red wine is cutting it too close and the sulfites in my drink will deaden my brain right up to next day. (Again, staying in bed is usually the solution.)

My forehead has two fine horizontal lines and I have dark spots on my cheek that refuse to go away. No matter how many anti-aging creams I slather on my face, they just sit there staring back at me from the mirror. Unfortunately, my unpredictable cash flow won’t pay for any Botox injections. Besides, I’m a coward when it comes to needles and even if I had more financial resources, I will probably spend the money on traveling and good food rather than on my face.

I am now prone to allergies. For some strange reason, some food or beverages which I had no problem ingesting only a few years ago, now give me a rash or a headache. Take cheese, for example: I used to eat all my favorite nutty and intense varieties at any time and any day. But now, I noticed that as my period approaches (excuse me, gentlemen), eating cheese gives me a migraine. Added to that, the migraines sneak up on me more often than they used to.

And as I mentioned in this space two weeks ago, I am now on maintenance pills to restrain my hypertension, a legacy from both sides of my parents’ families. Thanks to mom and dad, I have to watch what I eat, making sure I stay away from Aling Mila’s lechon and Two Seasons Resort’s sinfully good Crispy Rack of Pork and Char Shiu Rice forever. I cannot afford to miss a single class of yoga, otherwise my blood pressure may start hiking up a treacherous path.

(UPDATE: Three days ago, my doc took me off the anti-hypertension meds, pronouncing me in the pink of health...well, almost. Just need to exercise more. But at least, this is one reason to feel good on this birthday.)

To top it all, I hate exercising, and any effort spent on a treadmill or stationary bike makes me feel cheap. I love my body and I’m happy with it, but somehow I still feel I need to conform to society’s standards of beauty and wellness.

I don’t have the patience to read books anymore. A bookworm since I knew how to read, I now can’t sit still through three pages of any novel, no matter how high up it was on the New York Times bestseller list, without my mind wandering off somewhere. I think of my schedule for the entire week, the recipe I’ll be using at dinner, or what I’ll wear to an interview I’m conducting the next day. Maybe it’s because I already do a lot of reading on the Internet that having pages of printed words on paper just doesn’t hold my attention anymore as staring at my computer. If I do read a book, it is usually a biography or a collection of short stories. My favorite reading materials now are magazines -- Vanity Fair, Gourmet, Travel + Leisure, Interiors.

Finally, I want someone to come home to other than the mother and the maid. It doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a pet. There are just days when you want to cuddle with someone because you are feeling awful and need to feel secure or comforted. Or just do the nasty with every night. Because Johnny Depp is already hitched to that beyootch Vanessa Paradis, I might have to get a cat instead.

But in all things, I take the bad with the good. You can’t have a happy sunny morning without going through some voluminous rainclouds first. So, thank you, Lord! Thanks for another fabulous birthday in Boracay with my best buddies. Thanks for those relaxing massages I got. Thanks for that gorgeous birthday spread and for all the lovely meals we enjoyed. To all those who remembered my birthday and took the time to greet me, Bless you all! It feels great to be alive and well, the sometimes creaky bones notwithstanding.

The ultimate reality bite: It’s the little things in life that count the most and make me happy.

(My column, Something Like Life, is published every Friday in the Life section of the BusinessMirror. Photo from BusinessMirror.)

Quote of the year

Senior Comelec officials told Newsbreak that Abalos’s resignation was long overdue. “We’ve been waiting (for his resignation) for the longest time. The Comelec suffered in credibility because of him,” said one poll official who spoke on condition of anonymity for fear of antagonizing Abalos. “He is leaving no legacy. Instead, he took everything away: integrity, honesty, transparency, good governance,” said another.

Read on at Newsbreak

Araaaay...ang sakit mo naman magsalita, kapatid!

I think the Presidentita should take this opportunity to regain her lost credibility and for once appoint someone honest and respectable to head the Commission on Elections. Anyway, she can no longer run for President so she doesn't need anyone to fix the votes in her favor. Ay, but then she has that loser son pala, who couldn't make it in showbiz so now he's into politics also. Oh well...

Why Neri wouldn't talk

GOTCHA
I understand why Neri couldn’t talk

By JARIUS BONDOC

The Philippine Star, 10/01/07

I called Romy Neri right after testifying Sept. 18 in that first Senate hearing on the ZTE scam. It was our tenth talk about the issue since Apr. 20, when The STAR ran my first of a series of articles. I pried why he didn’t show up, if he was under any threat of harm, and when he’ll reveal all he knows. From his replies it was clear he was charily weighing the consequences. There’s a time and place for everything, he mused, then asked if what he has narrated to me thus far would "incite another EDSA." I said I didn’t know, but that I do wish the Senate inquiry would spark a wave of reforms, starting with clean elections. He shared the dream, but doubted if it would come true soon. Our talk eventually led to sacrificing for the sake of the nation. He said Joey de Venecia was brave to implicate big names, adding that if push comes to shove the young whistleblower fortunately has a rich dad to fall back on. "I’m not affluent," Romy stated the obvious. Neither am I, I reminded him. Whereupon, he shot back: "Oh, but you’re a journalist, you’re supposed to be dedicated to the truth."

Yes, in this calling our first instinct is to truth and justice, at all costs. So with Romy’s words in mind I must disclose what he has told me. I know I might get him and myself into deep trouble with powerful persons. But that is journalism. Too, in my hierarchy of values, God is first, country next, family and friends third, and myself bottom. Patriotic duty calls.

Romy bared many frightening things when he called me morning of Apr. 20. I had written that the government was rushing to award the ZTE contract the next day in Boao, China, and that the NEDA, which he headed then, had approved the overpriced telecoms supply in a huff. Before I could ask anything, Romy blurted three items in succession: "This deal was the handiwork of Ricky Razon and Comelec chief Benjamin Abalos ... I warned President Arroyo about this, and also told Speaker Jose de Venecia Jr. ... Abalos tried to bribe me P200 million."

Read on at Gotcha

Abalos resigns!

WINNER!

Finally this kapalmuks is letting go of what should have been an honorable and respectable position as chairman of the Commission on Elections. Remember when everything was clean and orderly under Christian Monsod? We should get him back to head Comelec.

But of course, Abalos doesn't lose anything by resigning considering the millions of dollars in lagay he was supposed to have received from ZTE China to shepherd the National Broadband Network into place. He is pretty much taken cared of for the rest of his life.

For sure Malacañang had a hand in Abalos' resignation. The Presidentita knows fully well if the House impeachment motion is carried out and hearings are held, Abalos may be forced to tell the truth about what he did for her in the last presidential elections. Afraid! Kaya, bye-bye nalang ke Abalos anyway kumita na sila. Not unless they're asked to return the moolah!

Click Abalos nalaos for PDI's take on the Comelec chair's resignation.

Teves admits Neri told him about Abalos' bribe offer

MANILA, Philippines -- Romulo Neri informed not only President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo but also Finance Secretary Margarito Teves about Commission on Elections Chairman Benjamin Abalos Sr.'s purported offer of P200 million.

Teves himself disclosed this to reporters in New York, saying that Neri, then the director general of the National Economic and Development Authority, had told him about Abalos' alleged bribe attempt to push the approval of the National Broadband Network project in favor of China's ZTE Corp.

But at that time, "I did not put too much attachment to it," Teves said on Thursday. The finance secretary is part of the entourage of Ms Arroyo, who is in New York with other heads of state to attend the 62nd session of the UN General Assembly. (Read the rest at Inquirer.)

HAVE we Filipinos lost our sense of moral outrage over corruption in government? Apparently so, as even someone as respectable and honorable as Finance Secretary Gary Teves, apparently didn't even flinch when told of Comelec chairman Benjamin Abalos bribe attempt on former NEDA Director-General Romy Neri!

Why did Teves think Neri was telling him this for? Btw, FYI lang? Obviously, Neri turned to him for guidance being a decent man of his stature. Neri's conscience was bothering him and he wanted to tell someone so he would know what to do about it. But how did Teves behave? Wala lang.

It irritates me to no end that even people whom I thought were decent have a cavalier attitude over stomach-turning incidents as this. If you don't say anything about it or put a stop to it, then you are guilty by complicity. Such a shame Gary Teves. I believed in you.

Romy Neri the wimp

(Romy Neri with his Presidentita...BFF! Photo from The Philippine Star)

ATENEo/UP technocrat Romulo "Romy" Neri will go down in Philippine history as the man who could have, but didn't. He could have stopped all this moro-moro, put an end to the shenanigans in this corrupt government of his Presidentita GMA, could have saved taxpayers a lot of money by ending the Senate hearings, etc., but alas, didn't.

He shirked away from his patriotic duty and lost his balls possibly while he had the runs last week. Oh sorry, did someone say his balls are well taken cared of? Oh excuse me...that's probably why he wouldn't talk...the Presidentita knows all about it.

Well, as I said earlier, Romy Neri should never have been given the post of NEDA director-general in the first place. He has no backbone to speak of unlike his predecessors Winnie Monsod, Ciel Habito, and Dante Canlas. Those guys were honest to the core (okay forget about Habito and the voice of God stint) and would not be swayed by any of Malacañang's exertions. They never lied about the true state of the economy, unlike this guy Neri who has led all the government agencies in charge of economic policy and statistics to massage the country's growth figures. We journalists have a term for a similar kind of reporting...SS (go ask your media friends what it means). With Neri's personal background, we're not at all surprised. (Gads, wasn't it super annoying how he kept on turning to his alalays for each and every question asked of him? Ano ba?! How the hell did you become a Cabinet Secretary?!)

Okay give the guy a medal anyway for confirming that Comelec chairman Benjamin Abalos did offer him a bribe of P200 (pesos? thousand? million? billion? pesos or dollars?). But by claiming executive privilege on the other parts of the conversation he had with his Presidentita after he made sumbong about Abalos' bribe try, he was merely protecting her dastardly deeds (how could she not know what was going on with a big effing deal costing $340 million?).

By running away from the truth, Neri has singlehandedly destroyed the credibility of NEDA, a government agency tasked to assess all major government projects and monitor the implementation and use of overseas development assistance. He even allowed his Presidentita to take over its oversight functions. (A text message from a former DG: "Deliberate 'yan: Destroy NEDA's oversight function so the plunder agenda would meet no resistance.") I can imagine the frustration of all the hardworking good people over there.

Unlike Joey de Venecia who stood up to his father with the immortal words, "Pop, do you really want me to stand aside while the Filipino people are robbed of $200 million?” (as quoted by Boo Chanco), Neri stood by his Presidentita and allowed her and her minions to get away with murder. Maybe Neri just stayed too long at the Congressional Planning Budget Office, he probably got infected by the slimy ways of the congressmen. May you be cursed with the runs for the rest of your life, you wimp!

Meanwhile, it really frustrates me to listen to our supposedly esteemed senators rant about the proposed National Broadband Network and the ZTE deal when they can't even tell the difference between broadband, bandwith, IP, Voip! Pwede ba, mag-research naman kayo before attending the hearings? Can't you just google the goddamned terms? Or better yet, consult real IT experts. How dare you people go to your hearings unprepared against someone like DOTC Asec. Lorenzo Formoso. Grabeh, you guys sound like idiots! Grrr! (A basta, idol ko si Kap! K.)

And this is why La Salle will win the game today versus Ateneo. Animo La Salle! (pwede ba pagbigyan nyo na ko, blog ko 'to noh?)

Will he or won't he?

THE guessing game around town these days seems to be whether or not former NEDA director-general Romy Neri will be appearing at the Senate hearing tomorrow. We understand the intense pressure that Sec. Neri must be under, thus, his no-show twice. His first reason was that he needed to get permission from his presidentita GMA. The next was that he was suffering from intentional, este, intestinal flu.

Then yesterday there was this whole drama of whether or not he would be joining his presidentita on her trip to the U.S. What is the presidentita afraid of pa ba...e bukong-buko na sya at ang kanyang mga tuta sa ginawa nila sa NBN-ZTE deal? Ang dudupang nyo kasi e!

Well the resolution of this issue rests squarely on the shoulders of Romy Neri. He has already given our colleague Jarius Bondoc a lot of background on the deal, it's time for the good Secretary to come right out in the open and just tell the Senate what he knows. By keeping quiet, he is the one fanning the flames of the controversy.

Btw, those who want to turn the 'AB-ZTE-FG' video clip below into an MP3 ringtone for your cellphone can just click on this online converter. Fun!

NBN-ZTE deal suspended!

HERE'S the report from GMA News:




Suspended lang? Why not cancel it altogether? E 'di ba talagang na-suspend naman yan ng Supreme Court? Duh!

As in our previous experience with the GMA administration regarding tainted government projects, this gives them a chance to resurrect the NBN-ZTE deal in the future, possibly in a different form and under a different name but with the same corruption-riddled components. After all, how can they not push through with the project when so much bribes have been made already to the key government officials who have been pushing this project? You think these people will return the monies already paid to them? For all we know, the tainted monies are no longer here but in some Swiss government accounts! Oh! Is that why someone hastily left for Europe recently? Hmmm...

I'm glad the Senate will still continue its probe despite the project suspension. We wait with bated breath on what Sec. Romy Neri will say. Word has it that he has beefed up his security...obviously there are some powerful people up there who want to shut him up. We need to get to the bottom of this controversy and have some closure. Some heads do have to roll. We only ask the good Senators to please listen to your colleagues so you don't waste time repeating their questions?! Nakakairita e.

Click here for Sen. MAR Roxas' reaction.

As for the guy below, he's trying to claim credit for the suspension of the ZTE deal...ang kapal talaga! Like didn't Speaker de Venecia say it earlier this week? Another winner from GMA News:

Mr. Arroyo met, did not intimidate Joey de Venecia—lawyer

MANILA, Philippines – Jose Miguel "Mike" Arroyo confirmed through his lawyer on Wednesday that he met Jose "Joey" de Venecia III in a "purely chance encounter" at a golf clubhouse but denied ordering him to "back off" from the national broadband network (NBN) deal.

Jesus Santos, lawyer and spokesperson of the President's husband, said Mr. Arroyo did meet De Venecia III in mid-March but his version of the story differed greatly from that of Speaker Jose de Venecia, Jr.'s son.

For one, Arroyo denied berating de Venecia and ordering him to pull out of the national broadband deal in favor of the eventual winner, China’s ZTE Corp., allegedly upon brokering by Commission on Elections Chair Benjamin Abalos Sr. (More at Inquirer. Photo from AP/BBC)

A tangled web of lies you weave, First Gentleman. And I suppose there were waiters around who could corroborate your statement? Ang tagal nyo na nga pinag-isipan, ang tanga pa din ng sagot nyo?! Gee, Homer is that you?

It stinks!

Commission on Elections chairman Benjamin Abalos Sr. is accused of brokering the deal between the DOTC and ZTE for the government's national broadband network project. (Photo from Wikepedia)

THAT'S what I think of the ZTE deal. It's not that ZTE isn't a reputable company, because it is. It is one of the fastest growing firms in China and its leadership in the telecommunications arena in those parts are well known. Heck, my own Internet box is a ZTE so I know it is a real company that does business and not just some fly-by-night operation.

But the way by which the contract (is it really missing or is someone just trying to hide it?) or the deal has been made is all too suspicious. First of all, do we need a national broadband network? Issues have been raised for and against the establishment of one. I don't exactly understand the point of the government in building an NBN since the country is already wired by private companies. Why is government sticking its nose in what is basically, a private sector acctivity? Now if the government had proposed to Wi-fi the entire country (as what California is trying to do), then I can give this contract a second thought.

Second, why is Comelect Commissioner Benjamin Abalos even involved in this deal? As usual he, like many government oficials before him, lacks delicadeza, and no matter how he explains it away, his involvement is dubious. (Aba, baka ma-Erap din sya!) Btw, what about the talk that Abalos is one government official who can be found anywhere except his office because he holds court at the Wack-Wack Golf & Country Club all the time? Hmmm...

It this ZTE deal another fast one the Arroyo administration is trying to pull on the Filipino people and on investors? First it was the Jancom incinerator deal that President Arroyo tried to approve despite previous presidents not signing the contract. It was a $380 million project that underwent a questionable bidding process and escalated in cost as so many goons started getting into the act and trying to get their kickbacks as well. Which reminds me, wasn't Abalos, as chairman of the MMDA then, also trying to get this Jancom project approved?

Second it was the NAIA Terminal 3 project where Arroyo's henchmen again tried to bilk the project proponents, asking to be paid $300 million so Fraport AG, operator of one of the busiest international airports in the world, would be allowed to manage the new terminal. The government questioned Fraport's partner, Piatco (PairCargo), ability to build the project when it was already 98% complete and ready to open! (I was one of the very first journalists who went inside the terminal and toured it in the month it was supposed to open.) And to think no government money was spent on building the terminal! Btw, the Arroyo government's takeover of the NAIA 3 is the primary reason the Presidentita can never set foot in Germany.

Transportation and Communications Secretary Leandro Mendoza refuses to answer questions on controversial ZTE broadband deal. (Photo from OPS)

And now here comes the ZTE deal where a public bidding was supposedly held, according to DOTC Secretary Leonardo Mendoza, but the contract was awarded to a company where the government would incur a loan from the Chinese government, whereas another proponent, Amsterdam Holdings Inc., had offered to build the NBN at no cost to the government! Hey I'm no fan of Speaker de Venecia and his family either but his son raises very valid points. The bribery allegations are the most damaging to Abalos and with his debatable conduct as Comelec chairman especially during the Garci scandal makes us believe there is something not quite right about him.

For sure, the Arroyo government is just trying play nice to our powerful neighbor to the north. After all, the Philippines can't rely on the US government forever. Its assistance to the Philippines is dwindling and American investors are choosing other Asian countries to sink their monies in. So the Arroyo government is looking to China for more investments, more aid, and tourism business. I don't oppose this tack, but all business contracts with the government must be above-board and open to scrutiny, no matter which country is involved. Instead, all the Arroyo administration has been doing is to stone-wall and try to hide behind the "sub-judice" reason so as not to explain the deal to Congress. These are simple questions that just need simple, direct-to-the point answers. But our esteeemed government officials refuse to answer. How can GMA and her henchmen even expect us, the public, to trust them?