Black Widow on the prowl

WE'VE been told the our favorite Black Widow is at it again, preying on hapless old gents with a couple of them doddily escorting her in several recent social events. After a generous "inheritance" from her old banker beau who had passed away just last year (and supposedly where she asked for yet more goodies while he lay at his deathbed in a posh hospital south of Manila), she certainly looks as if she has moved on. (Not a few friends of this gentleman banker have remarked that he must have sadly realized, so close to his death, that the woman he loved was indeed, just after his money. Tsk, tsk.)

The latest gents seen leading Black Widow by the arm is a former court judge and a publicist with a column in a major daily. Uh-oh. How's your health, Lolo?

* * *
IT's confirmed. A company which had wanted this wanna-be socialite/event manager/publicist to be its celebrity endorser has held off its plans after the said "celebrity" (and yes we have to put that in quotes) got caught up in a scandal involving his client as well as allegations of substance abuse and drug pushing.

We don't care much for what endorsements he will soon lose. We just want him arrested for his bad hair days and hideous fashion sense.

* * *
OOF! Not only is the wife of this still-in-the-closet gay banker a lush and a fan of blue magic, we hear their son has picked up the nasty snorting habit as well. Can anyone fix this family please? Hoy lola, magpakatotoo ka na kasi!

If it's you they're talking about

Something Like Life
April 18, 2008

HOW many of us have been the subject of nasty rumors or malicious gossip? And how many of us knew what to do about it?

I must admit, I’ve been the subject of a few distasteful stories in my lifetime, touching on my personal life or my work, though none of them in the epic DJ Montano proportions. But then I don’t have a high-flying fast life which can open me and my actions to public scrutiny. Also, I don’t pretend to be something I’m not. (Like, I’m not above riding the MRT to Makati, but I will not shirk at an offer of a chauffeured ride home in a properly air-conditioned, luxuriously outfitted, leather-seated car.)

So what happens when you become the flavor of the month—or months—of your office or the society circle you move around in? Some of you may have been accused of sleeping your way to the top position of your company (or, worse, filching office supplies...how cheap naman!), or maybe having an affair with a married co-employee, or getting a job because of your familial connections?

Among your circle of friends, you suddenly hear that you’re supposedly a drug addict, an alcoholic, a sex pervert, are gay, or—worse—deep in debt! People begin talking about how much of a freeloader you are and how you attend events just to get hold of the goodie bag! Then your own so-called BFFs start turning on you. What to do?! What to do?!

In my own experience, I’ve realized that a lot of the gossip at work is primarily due to jealousy. Some people have a puffed-up opinion of themselves and basically think that they are better than you. And when they don’t get the promotion they’ve been secretly desiring and which was given to you instead, these losers can or will start rumors about you, or stir up critical talk about you.

Everything about you will be called into question. Nothing is safe. These inggiteros will discuss every single little detail of your life and joke about petty stuff, like the way you wear your pantyhose or that hideous dress you supposedly wore to the company cocktails last night.

But, seriously, the only way to quelch rumors of this nature is to basically shut up and continue doing your work well. True, it’s uncomfortable to be amid such unpleasantness day in and day out, especially when you’re trying to focus on doing a good job. But I am a stern believer that actions will always speak louder than words. And in the end, you will be vindicated.

The best thing to do is to play office politics. Try to get these losers on your side by involving them in projects. When they manage a good job or your projects are a success, recognize their efforts and watch them change their opinion about you. They will soon realize why the boss chose you and not them for that promotion.

I always tell my friends who are in such a bind that they are “celebrities,” and their underachieving colleagues at work will always envy them. I joke that it is a bane of their so-called celebrity status to be the subject of gossip all the time. The best thing to do is ignore the talk and just do the work.

But whether the negative issues about you are at work or touches your personal life, the best defense is really the truth. If you haven’t been seen stuffing your face with drugs or regularly beating up helpless people, then people won’t talk about it.

I remember one celebrity who was rumored to have made a punching bag of relatively unknown and basically defenseless kids, and had his friends gang up on them. I had firsthand knowledge of one of his victims as this kid was close to my friend’s daughter. My friend’s daughter told me the victim had already been beaten up by this neanderthal and his gang at school once before. And to think the goon had actually wanted to run for mayor! Ang kapal! So in his case, where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

(Funny, though, how rumors about the idiocies and odious habits of several celebrities and high-society flunkies center around just one club at The Fort. Hmmm...it must be the water.)

Now what if the gossip about you is actually true? What do you do?

Well, all you have to do is grin and bear it. Nothing will ever remain a secret in this society. People in these parts treat gossip as part and parcel of entertainment. Any rumor about someone popular and his secret life uncovered is much better than the whole of Marimar.

So whatever indecent acts you’ve been practicing, or whatever odious behavior you subscribe to, you will be found out. After all, we live in a small world where the next person ready to hear some juicy stories about you is just a text or e-mail away.

And if you don’t want to be talked about in a scandalous fashion, then behave. Keep a low profile. Stop acting so foolishly and calling attention to yourself. It’s really your fault for living so large and loudly.

I recall a friend being asked by a victim of some malicious gossip, advice about what to do to handle the nasty talk about him. One of the distasteful rumors being circulated about the victim was apparently the size of his, uhm, appendage. His text to my friend went something like, “By the way, the rumors are not true. I’m a medium.” To which my friend texted back, “But (guy's name), I told everyone you’re large!” Stop being defensive!

Okay, so what if the rumor about you is totally untrue and already destroying your reputation? Then go to the source of the gossip—if you know who it is—and talk to him or her about it. Find out why he or she started this rumor about you and see how you can settle things. Don’t be confrontational or threaten to sue every bone in his/her body.

You cannot underestimate the power of communication. Sometimes all it takes is an open channel between two people and a sincere effort to settle differences. Be honest, fortright and reconciliatory.

The best way to handle gossip of course, is to avoid it. Keep your nose clean and your feet firmly planted on the ground.

Postscript: from the publisher of People Asia

The Malu Fernandez-OFW controversy

TAKIN’ CARE OF BUSINESS
By BABE ROMUALDEZ

As publisher of People Asia magazine, I had hoped I would not need to make any further comment about our former contributing columnist Malu Fernandez. Because of the “violent” reactions from people concerning the issue – perhaps it is better for me to put the entire issue into the right context. The column which came out in the June issue of the magazine talked about her experience in Boracay and her trip to Greece in a sardonic manner characteristic of Malu Fernandez.

Reactions (via text and email) were sent in by readers, two of which were selected and consequently printed in the August issue of the magazine, along with a note from the editors saying that while they may not agree with what Malu Fernandez had written, they recognize her right to say it. There is a fine print in the magazine’s staff box stating that the opinions and views expressed by writers are their own and not necessarily endorsed by the editors and the management.

The matter would have been settled with the magazine’s publication of those reactions. But unfortunately, Ms. Fernandez wrote a follow-up regarding the issue as well as her response to those who expressed disagreement with the said column in another publication – making it worse since it was written in an arrogant and condescending manner. Even I, together with some readers, felt that she made a mockery of those who did not share or understand her “acerbic” wit and humor.

(Medyo palusot pero pagbigyan na natin...read on at Postscript.)

Alternative realities

I was jolted out of my reverie during my two-week vacation (yes, folks, the reason I haven't updated my blog 'til today) by a friend who was ranting about the supposed insulting piece by yet another society columnist wanna-be, Malu Fernandez, on overseas Filipino workers. Malu Fernandez? Wasn't she a columnist of the Manila Standard Today? I have read her once or twice in the past, forgettable columns, or so I thought, until my friend brought up the society gal's take on OFWs. She said Ms. Fernandez's derogatory column appeared in the June edition of People Asia.

As my friend recounted what Ms. Fernandez had written supposedly about how our Bagong Bayanis smelled, especially after being cooped up in an airplane on a long flight from Dubai to Manila, I recalled having read a similar piece by the same columnist in her home paper. I remember the piece about favorite scents of some people breathing the same rarefied air as Ms. Fernandez, but she had taken off from the same dig at OFWs. (Read it here)

Now I didn't think too much of Ms. Fernandez's column then. I thought it was another feeble attempt at wit by yet another untalented hack. And I thought it was sad that for all the chi-chi-ness she tried to project, she flew economy on an international airline...ay pobrecita! I didn't know she had reprised that same train of thought on OFWs in her People Asia column until a few days ago. So I proceeded to read the piece over the weekend. This time around, the insult was more pointed and obscene. She said she was trying to be funny, but obviously she had failed miserably, not due to the lack of sense of humor on the reader's part, but her obvious lack of writing talent. Her piece had bombed, and she was now reaping the consequences of her poor choice of words and her, well, unfunniness (yes, folks there is such a word). She was blogged to death...the OFW community unleashing their vengeance like a tidal wave, calling for a boycott of both People Asia and MST. I can only say, ang tindi talaga ng Filipino bloggers! Wow!

Last I heard, Ms. Fernandez had submitted her resignation to both People Asia and MST editors. I don't know if this has been accepted. I suppose, in their aim for a wider readership, the editors thought the presence of Ms. Fernandez could help bring class to their publications. Too bad, all they got was poor taste. Well, we all make mistakes. Perhaps the editors of these publications can consider the feelings of our OFWs and let her go.

Ms. Fernandez has apologized (rather belatedly after trying to stand her ground during the first backlash), and as fellow human beings, we can only accept and forgive. Let's stop all this name calling and insulting comments about fat people and pigs, etc. because it's unproductive and you are being just as bigoted as Ms. Fernandez. Don't stoop to her level. Her weight is not the issue, it's her insensitivity and dull writing. (Oops!) Okay, tama na 'yan...let's get on with our lives.

Peace people!

P.S. Stay tuned for my vacation photos, guys!