Inkblot

I PICKED up the Philippine Star for the first time in weeks today (I usually read it online) and glanced through the news rather quickly, then the opinion pages, business, and lifestyle. The banner on the front page was especially gripping...it was about the $100-million health insurance scam allegedly participated in by some local hospitals and doctors. As is my usual habit, I saved the Sunday funnies for the last, with Calvin and Hobbes and Hagar the Horrible leaving me in stitches.

But what really caught my eye was this huge inkblot on the face of one of the paper's columnists, who's been getting a lot of ahem, unsavory press lately. I looked through all the pages and all the columnists' pieces again, and truly, it was only her column photo which had been besmirched by a black blob. As most advertisers know, the Philippine Star takes great care in printing its paper, especially its color pages. So the conspiracy theorist in me is thinking some people within the media organization itself are not liking this columnist very much either. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

* * *
BTW, you might want to check out a really moving profile story of Australian blogger Brian Gorrell in the BusinessMirror.

When your child is out of control

Something Like Life
April 11, 2008

SOME friends and I were walking along Bonifacio High Street one evening, trying to exercise away the humongous shabu-shabu meal we had just ingested, when a group of young shrilly girls came toward us. They were probably in their early 20s, with boobies a-popping out of their thin sleeveless blouses and wearing the shortest skirts that came up to where their butt cheeks began to show. If they only weren’t speaking in English in that colegiala twang, we would’ve thought they were refugees from the hooker districts of Manila on their way to meet their pimp. Or trannies on the prowl.

As usual, Miggy made the most astute observation, about how young girls now have to try really hard, competing with one another just to get noticed by boys. And, of course, the easiest way to do that is to dress rather skimpily, and talk ever so loudly in flirtatious tones. Maybe they think Britney Spears in her slutty clothes is the height of fashion. Then I thought: Where were their parents when they put on those clothes for a night on the town?

Parenting, and how difficult the task is these days, is what I think most of whenever someone mentions Brian Gorrell, the Australian blogger whose Pinoy ex-lover allegedly stiffed him of a large amount of money. In his blog, we have been inundated with gossip and allegations of how some scions of supposedly de buena familias in Manila have been living it up with their noses buried in cocaine, giving new meaning to the term “high society.” With the allegations of freeloading, bad oufits, incest and even murder, I can understand the venom, scorn and contempt that have flooded the comments section of Gorrell’s blog.

(Frankly, I have stopped reading it because of too much negativity there. Now, if the allegations are true about the main subject of the blog, I do hope Gorrell gets paid back every cent owed him. I don’t belittle the misfortune that befell him, but as sis would always say, “We are fools for love.” We make our own stupid choices for love and we suffer for it.)

Why the infamous subjects of the blog behave the way they do—and in truth, this is not the first time we in media have heard about it and what goes on in that party place that has been mentioned several times in the blog—we probably may never thoroughly understand. Most of them have had the benefit of having studied in reputable universities like many of those who read this equally respectable paper, so many people automatically blame it on their upbringing.



But I think it would be simplistic and convenient to blame the parents for the mess these socialites—or social climbers—are in. (One trivia that has come up via the old media is that the mother of one of the antagonists in this Internet telenovela, was involved in a corrupt government deal that was the talk of the town just a decade ago. A few observers cite this factoid as a way to explain her child’s alleged dishonesty—monkey see, monkey do.) Besides, there are many examples of people who have been in far more luckless circumstances while growing up, or have had the worst parents imaginable, but who managed to come out of their sordid experiences as strong, upstanding citizens.

Needless to say, I cannot imagine how parents do it these days. If both parents are working, there is just not enough time in the day to be with one’s kids, minister to their needs and make them adhere to the common rules of proper, decent behavior. What more if one parent is away, working in some foreign country, as in the case of many OFW families these days. The parenting task can only be more daunting in such situations.

Then there are just too many temptations out there—sex, drugs, Internet porn, cigarettes, alcohol, Internet gaming—that parents can hardly keep up with their duty to be the moral guardians of the family. When even the tightest controls and parental monitoring systems fail, what avenue for instilling appropriate conduct is still available? What can parents do when their child has gone out of control?

Many parents will tell you that there is no guidebook in the world that will prepare a parent for the responsibilities. When rearing a child, sometimes it is a case of hit-and-miss. You can be the best father or mother in the world, but your child still ends up dead in someone else’s flat from drug overdose.

Of course, all this doesn’t absolve parents of the responsibility of trying to bring up decent, well-behaved and sensible children. So when they see their children now adults behaving like irresponsible shitless fucks who think having fun is the only sole purpose of their existence, parents just cannot be defensive about it. They cannot deny that there is a problem and just send the children abroad to escape the consequences of the latter’s tomfoolery. Condoning their children’s stupidity makes them equally guilty. Parents whose kids have gone wrong just have to accept that despite their maybe impeccable parenting skills, their children have fallen off-track and have become nuisances to society. Leaving them to their own devices where they can hurt other people or themselves is not an option.

No matter how old a wayward child is, parents cannot abdicate their roles as the moral and ethical compass in the family. They need to be consistent and unfaltering in their implementation of rules for decent behavior and, of course, be unimpeachable role models themselves. One thing they cannot do is lose hope that their child can still change or be rehabilitated with the right kind of help, be it the psychological kind.

I think another thing Brian Gorrell’s blog has taught many of us is that parents these days have to work even doubly harder than before to keep their kids in line, protect them from falling into the wrong crowd and becoming slaves to their basest desires. That kind of 24/7 protection and monitoring may be exhausting and, perhaps, nearly impossible to do in this day and age, but it must be done. Not doing so can only lead to damaging and maybe irreparable consequences.

(My column, Something Like Life, is published every Friday, in the Life section of the BusinessMirror. Photo from BM)

UPDATE: The subject of Brian Gorrell's blog – DJ Montano (now we can finally publish his name as he already appeared in public) – was on Korina Sanchez's show last night basically denying everything that his ex- said. I wasn't able to watch the show as I'm in Tagaytay (and the frigging DREAM TV, of course, has no ANC feed!). Too bad that Brian declined to do a face-off with DJ via phone patch.

Anyway, here's a Youtube post of ABS-CBN's TV Patrol World featuring bits of the Montano interview, including sound bytes from his mother, stepfather, and sister. Will post a better video once we get a hold of one.

And it's back on again...

BRIAN has had a change of heart apparently and reopened his blog to quash rumors that he had already been paid by the subject of his blog. But in his latest post, he confirms our earlier entry that he has not been paid. He also apologizes that he had to switch off the comments section.

(Looks like GMA is in luck again. No one's gonna pay attention to the ZTE-NBN hearings with the salacious gossip being dished about the pasosyal group.)

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HEARD AND OVERHEARD

At a media event:

(To a lifestyle columnist): "Hala ka, ikaw na ang susunod!"

(Columnist): "Ano na naman ang ginawa ko?" (giggles)

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Same event:

(To a photographer): "Hoy wag mo kaming kunan! Baka ma-blog pa kami noh?"

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Over dinner:

"It's closed na daw."

"The blog?"

"Ay baka he got paid na?"

"That's what they should have done in the first place! That's the easiest way to make it go away!"

"Onga. Pinatagal pa nila. Any crisis PR guy would've told them that. Pay the guy. Tapos!"

"Who kaya paid him? E wala naman pera mga yan!"

"Baka si _____? He's the only one among them who has the money!"

"Yeah, kasi his last post was, '_____, you're next!'"

"Ay magandang gawin T-shirt yun a!"

"Mas maganda sana 'yung 'Magbayad ka na!' Sayang."

* * * *

"Poor ______! She got dragged into it. Inutangan na nga pamilya, nasabit pa sya sa gang."

"E kasi nga she's rich. So the commenters just lumped her in with them."

"But they're not rich! Kaya nga umuutang. Si ano can't even afford to clean her house daw. Ang baho!"

"But that was a cool bar."

"Ako I liked the food in his restaurant. In fairness."

"Well, when I met him back then, he was nice naman to me. Well, maybe nga because I was in media and he needed a writeup."

* * * *

"My experience with _____, I was with my friend, and she was buying cosmetics. She's a regular customer e. Then si _____ shows up, siguro there was a media event at the same time there, tries to grab the products my friend was buying and says, 'You can't have this, it's already supposed to be for someone else! I'm _____! I'm the ______.' My friend goes, 'I don't care! I'm a regular customer!' My friend gets the bag and pays for it. I was there, and I was like...ano ba ito? She was really loud."

* * * *

"So why did they kick _____ out from _____?"

"Well, si ano told me, kasi nagreklamo na ang staff. He would arrive at the office midnight and work until the next morning."

"But I thought si ano was there to oversee it."

"E hindi, sya ang creative director e. Minsan daw darating sa office, e naka-layout na ang page, papalitan na nya. So nag-complain na ang staff."

"Well that's the official reason!"

"I'm sure sina kwan knew about what he really did, yung pa-mention, mention ng name or product... but just used the staff complaints as a reason to let him go."

"Ay no comment nalang ako jan. He's a friend."

"But you have to give it to him, he made himself. From nothing when we met him years ago..."

"Oo, masipag yan. He really asked questions. Wanted to learn how to break into the industry."

* * * *

"Naku, ano na ang babasahin natin?"

"Onga, kasi kayo di nyo ginawan ng mirror site agad e!"

"Bitin naman."

"Buti nalang me American Idol mamya."

"Uy magaling yung bata. Si David Archuleta."

"I wanna pinch his cheeks! He's so cute!"

"Yung Pinay magaling din. Big voice ha."

"Pa-cute lang masyado, nakakainis. Pero sana manalo."

"Ay but the other one was an exotic dancer! Gwapo sya. Latino. But he admitted it."

* * * *

"Dapat bigyan ng talk show si Brian!"

"Onga! Tapos sa interview nya, tanungin ang guest, "So what was your favorite part in the blog?'"

"Ahhh, my favorite part was Anonymous 6:49...hahahaha!"

* * * *

"May rally daw ulit sa Friday."

"Where?"

"Sa Ayala ulit."

"Me nag-comment nga sa blog, 'Pati ba naman ito, kasalanan ni GMA!' "

"Hahaha! I read that. E kasi someone said, sa hirap daw ng economy, kay daw di makabayad si _____!"

"Ay magdala tayo ng streamers sa Friday, 'Ibalik si Brian!' "

"Or, "______! Magbayad ka na!' "

* * * *

"He texted me nga, 'it's not true I am small. I'm a medium.' "

"I texted back, "But ___! I told everyone you're large!' "

Bato, bato sa langit...

I was finally able to stop reading that new vicious blog which has kept everyone glued to their computers for the past two days. Nakakalokah na sya! It's so freakin' addicting! Every few hours there was a new entry from the blogger, then an avalanche of comments, and even more rumors/allegations brought up/stirred up about several pasosyal subjects of the blog...it was tough reading all of 'em. Hay! Nothing like good 'ol chismis about the so-called high society to make the weekend interesting.

I still can't make up my mind whether the allegations on Brian's blog are true or not, or if it's simply a case of an "away bakla." No offense to all the gay people out there, but you know what I mean. It could just be a lover's spat gone awfully haywire.

But if true, nakakaawa naman 'yung Australian na 'yun. Sayang gwapo pa naman sya. Ahem. What I really meant to say was, it really gives us Pinoys a bad name. That one of our own, albeit a socialite wanna-be, allegedly screwed this poor Aussie farmboy out of $70,000 of his life savings?! Shame, shame, shame.

I knew the subject of Brian's blog many years ago when he was just starting his restaurant and bar in Malate...back then when the district was still cool in its bohemian way. He seemed nice, intelligent, and well-mannered. I think back then he was still not surrounded by these ja-fake sosyals. I could be wrong though. Baka na ja-fake nya rin ako. Hahaha! But I have to admit, I liked the food in his restaurant and enjoyed his seriously fabulous bar. He actually has talent in that line of business.

Last time I saw the blog subject was in Boracay in Mandala Spa with a writer (from Metro Society I think) sometime last year. We exchanged a few words of greeting, small chica about how it was great to be in Mandala again — our favorite spa on the island — and how our treatments felt sooo good, etc. etc. Honestly, in the brief chats we've had since I met him, I have never felt any negative or ill vibes from him. And I'm not one to cut down people I know unless I've been on the receiving end of their nasty behavior.

So it's quite surprising to read all the allegations about this guy from his Aussie ex-. Of course the guy is no saint, what with the company he kept, but a thief?! Good Lord! Sayang naman itong batang to kung totoo. Brian's blog makes interesting read, no doubt. Highly entertaining. And definitely more exciting than the ZTE-NBN gossip that have been going around of late. (Madam Presidentita, pls. fire your lousy scriptwriters!)

Will Brian get his money back? Abangan...