Tough choice for women

THIS issue is overwhelming. But it is something to think about especially now that more people are getting involved in environmental issues and are on their own, starting to take the necessary steps to heal Mother Earth.

Sanitary pads: A feminine challenge
BY ISA LORENZO, Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism

THEY COME with or without wings, ultra-thin or maxi, regular, extra long, or g-string. One can also have them unscented, but some brands tout scents like lavender and baby powder. There are sanitary napkins with green tea, while others boast of additives such as aloe vera and vitamin E. Recently, a Chinese company launched a sanitary pad that it says contains anions, which purportedly decrease bacteria and even gradually eliminate dysmenorrhea.

Modern sanitary napkins have come a long way since the days when women would try to contain their monthly flow with thick pads of cloth. Yet for all the innovations manufacturers of sanitary napkins have come up with to ease women’s discomfort during "those days" of the month, they seem to be stumped by this challenge: producing a practical yet eco-friendly sanitary pad.

Environmental groups like Bangon Kalikasan Movement (BKM) say the mountains of trash in dumpsites like Payatas in Quezon City contain a very hefty share of soiled baby diapers and used sanitary napkins. The trash in Payatas has piled up to a towering 50 feet, equivalent to five stories. Seven years ago, a thousand people were killed when the trash came tumbling down on scavengers and those living in huts near the steaming mounds of garbage.

(For the rest of the piece, click Tough choice.)

The alternatives to what are being currently practiced may be impractical for most, but are clearly safer for the environment. Despite my being a staunch environmentalist, I must admit, I find it difficult to choose Mother Earth over practicality, reliability, convenience in this case. I'm at a loss on this one.

From 'Malou' Fernandez

‘DEAR Malu,

Sorry for taking the liberty to write you even though we’ve never met each other, or calling you by your first name. I just got accidentally caught up in your story because I, my relatives and colleagues at work had been getting inquiries, at the peak of the blogosphere obsession with your article on OFWs, on whether the editor in chief of BusinessMirror had written an article for People Asia or MST, or whether we were related. I blame the first query on some lazy PRs who, through the years, never bothered to find out my real nickname or presumed that my Christian name bore a “Maria” just because it’s Lourdes and therefore, called me occasionally “Malou Fernandez.”

That’s how I got curious about who you are and why they’re saying all those things about you. To be honest, I was shocked and upset like all the rest. But now, with the benefit of hindsight, and seeing how the OFWs are perfectly capable of defending themselves, my anger has turned to regret. Honest. I feel sorry that in one short plane trip you had ruined your ties with our kababayan. I regret that you didn’t have the chance to really know them through the years. But maybe there’s still time to make up.

After three decades in this work, I have met and written about Filipino workers in dozens of strange lands and how they’ve coped—some fail to, unfortunately—and how most of them are so prized in their host country I’ve come away each time feeling proud about being a Filipino.

After three decades in this work, I have met and written about Filipino workers in dozens of strange lands and how they’ve coped—some fail to, unfortunately—and how most of them are so prized in their host country I’ve come away each time feeling proud about being a Filipino.

I used to think, like most young people, especially journalists, that the ultimate high of traveling was in seeing up close all those postcard-pretty pictures one just read about in books or brochures. Always, on entering new territory, one’s heart would skip a beat, at that magical experience of “entering” a postcard, almost like Harry Potter when he first melted into the train station walls on his first trip to Hogwarts.

But many years and countless stories later, it’s really those encounters with OFWs—mostly by chance in the course of coverage or sightseeing—that have shaped the way I now look at and remember places.

Among the millions of Filipinos who have lived and worked in Saudi Arabia, I remember most the Filipino waiters at Riyadh Sheraton. Like most OFWs, they showed genuine happiness at seeing a group of kababayan in their hotel, and would find ingenious ways of being assigned to our table to make small talk. Most were Campampangan and had gone to Saudi to help families ravaged by lahar. There was a running joke with our group of newsmen that one of us had a birthday every day, so one fine day we got a surprise. As I stepped onto the lobby one afternoon, one waiter signaled to me to go over to the ground-floor restaurant. He then asked me to call my friends. As we sat down, another waiter who was supposed to be off came out, bearing a platter of maja blanca and palitaw. He smiled as he put it down, and explained that as it was his day off, he made some afternoon snacks for us, saying the native kakain go well with Arabic tea. Then he said he overheard us talking about how we liked palitaw.

As we left that day, they told us to advise them if there was something we wanted which they could cook in their free time. Between the food cooked by Filipinos and the stories shared in that fortnight, truly, we had a feast.

At one time in that fortnight, I was supposed to interview some people at the embassy but got caught up in another event. I didn’t know how to get to the embassy by taxi, so one Filipino IT guy I interviewed earlier offered to accompany me, but the hotel doorman advised me to be sure I had my abaya on, and to sit at the back and try to keep low-key. That got me worried, so I told the IT guy, hey, I know that even if you’re seated in front of the cab we could get in trouble if we get flagged down, so maybe I’ll just risk going there alone. I’m a foreign journalist, maybe I’ll just get deported, but you could get jailed. He brushed it off, and muttered something like he hoped his employer would bail him out of any trouble; or, he’s sure his employer would pull strings for him. I found out later the whiz kid had a sensitive position handling the computer networks of a very big bank in Saudi—imagine, I told myself, how can they dispense with someone like that—and risk having computers breaking down and their princely bank accounts getting stuck?

Still in the Middle East, two young, pretty Filipinas at the Dubai airport duty-free shop melted my heart once. We had about 15 minutes before boarding time en route home and, as a habit, I counted my remaining local currency, with plans of using this to buy pasalubong. I miscalculated. Because I bought a newspaper and several other items first, the money left for chocolates was off by several dirhams, so I asked if they’d accept US dollars. They said they’re not supposed to. She said they’d punched in the items and it’s okay, they’ll wait for me to come back because there is a money changer several meters away. Okay, I said, and ran, but the money-changer shop was closed that time, so I asked around. There was another one, much farther. I ran again, but the lines at the second one were long. I ran back to the two Pinays at the duty-free shop and said, I’m sorry, I’ll just offload the chocolates if you can’t take my dollars.

(Filipina domestic helpers at Statue Square, Central, Hong Kong - a favorite rendezvous on Sundays. Photo from Answers.com)

Both women simultaneously grabbed the chocolate and pressed it toward me. The second one dipped into her pocket and said don’t worry, she’ll pay for the balance. She said they couldn’t take my dollar bill because it was too big, the equivalent of what’s lacking with my dirhams was just about $3. “But I can’t take your money,” I protested. They smiled, and one asked, “You’re giving them to your children? No, nephews and nieces,” I replied. “Well then, please tell them the chocolates are from their titas in Dubai,” and flashed a smile. Just then there was an announcement of boarding time and they motioned me to hurry on. I left, overcome with gratitude but also shame. Luckily, a journalist friend passed by, also on her way to the boarding gate, so I asked if she had small dollar bills. Luckily, she had, so I borrowed $3 and ran back to the Pinays at the duty-free shop and plunked down the bills. They were surprised and refused at first to get it, but I insisted. I never imagined how even ordinary OFWs can be as gracious as these two.

One Mideast country I wanted, but failed to visit, is Israel. The late Philippine ambassador there, the former journalist Antonio C. Modena, used to tell us how organized the Filipino workers there are. One time there was an explosion in a busy public market, so I texted Tony for details, hoping to include a few paragraphs into the paper’s edition. He said he’d text back, and did so, after just 20 minutes. No Filipinos had died, he said, but one Pinay was slightly injured. They’re still tracking one more who was supposed to be in that area as well. I asked, how come you can get these details so quickly? Modena explained that the OFWs there are well-organized and have formed, with the embassy’s urging, a buddy system for verifying and monitoring each other. One OFW is supposed to check on the others in a certain district, all through the wonders of SMS.

Organized, intelligent, caring—that’s how Tony Modena described the OFWs he loved to serve. They’ll do you proud on any given day, he’d often say. He would have been proud to know Arlene (not her real name), a Filipino honor graduate of mechanical engineering, who, in four years, had been pirated by two multinational carmarkers in Japan.

I met her over dinner hosted by an elderly NGO leader in Hiroshima, and the two women kept laughing over a private joke, which I couldn’t help but pry open. Turns out that each time they meet, the Japanese lady would ask Arlene, “what club are you working in this time?” and Arlene would mention some club’s name at random, and they’d laugh together. Turns out that in her first months in Japan, Arlene always had an argument with taxi drivers, who’d ask her each time she rode a cab, “to what club?” When she’d say, “No, I don’t work in a club, I’m an engineer,” the taxi driver would chuckle and mutter what must surely be the Japanese equivalent of “Sure, tell me about it.”

It must have been strange for taxi drivers, this notion of a young Filipino engineer—a woman at that—working for a giant car manufacturer. When Arlene asked her NGO friend how to bridge that cultural abyss, the old lady good-naturedly advised her, so as to spare herself any aggravations even before she had started the day’s work, to “just name any club. Invent a name. Then they’ll shut up. Tell them the truth and they’d never believe you and you’ll end up arguing.”

Thus did it become the two women’s private joke for years. So, somewhere out there, a brilliant Filipina designs cars for THE world’s most popular carmakers, but goes to work each day pretending she works at a Japanese club—and is so self-assured she no longer feels insulted at the thought.

Arlene told me she didn’t really feel insulted because all of the Filipino entertainers she had met are decent and hardworking. And they care for their countrymen. As an aside, Filipinos are also very hygienic. In one quick tour many years ago, I stumbled on three women lugging their laundrybags to shore from a cruise ship, and they volunteered they’d be going to a public washing area “where we can handwash our clothes.” I asked why they weren’t doing their laundry in the ship’s humongous Laundromat, and they squealed, “yuck, and have our clothes mixed with those of the others?” So they went to the trouble of handwashing when the ship makes a port call.

Going back to Japan, Arlene said, you’d never hear stories here of Pinoys turning in fellow Pinoys to immigration if their only crime is overstaying just to have a job, unlike in the US, where such reports abound.

But it’s not just work, work, work for OFWs. Until a few years ago, the Filipinas in Paris who remitted money through PNB would “borrow” a small function room adjacent to the bank every other Friday night and have a typical Filipino sing-along. Some would bring the karaoke, others the food. They’d introduce newcomers to the community and swap stories. They were noisy, but happy. At least you know there won’t be candidates for suicide among the OFWs in the City of Light.

A similar happy disposition prevails among most OFWs in another European country, down south. They don’t call it sunny Spain for nothing, and it’s no exaggeration to say that Filipinos provide the metaphorical sun to their former mother country.

On my first trip there, the OFWs invited me to a modest center recently built with volunteers’ funds. Here they’d interact on weekends or when they’re off duty. The star of the show that Saturday was a very self-effacing Pinay whom everyone was eager to introduce because she brought along her two beautiful children—perfect products of an Asian-Caucasian blend. Turns out her señorito, the Spaniard son of her employers, had fallen in love with and married her. He was there at the center that day, joking and swapping stories with the OFWs. Marimar couldn’t have held a candle to that hardworking Pinay and her Cinderella story.

In other places I had deliberately sought out OFWs each time I’d look for a church for Sunday Mass. Sometimes, you don’t even have to ask them. The foreigners would often advise me to just “follow where they go.”

Some encounters are long, and allow me to mine stories or draw deep insight from kababayan which I’d never get from the intellectual pretenders back home. Other encounters are brief, but enough to warm one’s heart and make one’s day—as that Pinoy couple that once smuggled in their tiny dog in a picnic basket into the Paris commuter train, and spoke to me across the aisle plainly with their eyes, pleading for silence, when they noticed I kept staring at the basket, which was moving.

Sure, Pinoys abroad can be distractingly noisy. Sometimes their perfume can overwhelm one, but hey, we’re just passing through while they have to live and struggle there for years. Maybe the fleeting annoyances are bearable. In the overall equation, they are, like the biblical leaven to the bread, the ones who enrich us—literally but more important, spiritually. When people say nothing enriches a person more than travel, I agree. But only because, in that travel, whether in the oil fields of Nigeria or the deserts of Saudi Arabia, there’s a Filipino out there waiting to reach out to a kababayan.

A pity you missed that experience. But there’s still time to seek them out.

Sincerely,

Lourdes M. Fernandez*

*(Lourdes M. Fernandez, whom friends call 'Chuchay', not Malou/Malu...take note PR guys! is the editor-in-chief of BusinessMirror.)

Can you say dumb blonde?

This is so hilarious folks! This is worse than any Mutya ng Pilipinas contest we've ever had!



Ano daw?

Postscript: from the publisher of People Asia

The Malu Fernandez-OFW controversy

TAKIN’ CARE OF BUSINESS
By BABE ROMUALDEZ

As publisher of People Asia magazine, I had hoped I would not need to make any further comment about our former contributing columnist Malu Fernandez. Because of the “violent” reactions from people concerning the issue – perhaps it is better for me to put the entire issue into the right context. The column which came out in the June issue of the magazine talked about her experience in Boracay and her trip to Greece in a sardonic manner characteristic of Malu Fernandez.

Reactions (via text and email) were sent in by readers, two of which were selected and consequently printed in the August issue of the magazine, along with a note from the editors saying that while they may not agree with what Malu Fernandez had written, they recognize her right to say it. There is a fine print in the magazine’s staff box stating that the opinions and views expressed by writers are their own and not necessarily endorsed by the editors and the management.

The matter would have been settled with the magazine’s publication of those reactions. But unfortunately, Ms. Fernandez wrote a follow-up regarding the issue as well as her response to those who expressed disagreement with the said column in another publication – making it worse since it was written in an arrogant and condescending manner. Even I, together with some readers, felt that she made a mockery of those who did not share or understand her “acerbic” wit and humor.

(Medyo palusot pero pagbigyan na natin...read on at Postscript.)

Alternative realities

I was jolted out of my reverie during my two-week vacation (yes, folks, the reason I haven't updated my blog 'til today) by a friend who was ranting about the supposed insulting piece by yet another society columnist wanna-be, Malu Fernandez, on overseas Filipino workers. Malu Fernandez? Wasn't she a columnist of the Manila Standard Today? I have read her once or twice in the past, forgettable columns, or so I thought, until my friend brought up the society gal's take on OFWs. She said Ms. Fernandez's derogatory column appeared in the June edition of People Asia.

As my friend recounted what Ms. Fernandez had written supposedly about how our Bagong Bayanis smelled, especially after being cooped up in an airplane on a long flight from Dubai to Manila, I recalled having read a similar piece by the same columnist in her home paper. I remember the piece about favorite scents of some people breathing the same rarefied air as Ms. Fernandez, but she had taken off from the same dig at OFWs. (Read it here)

Now I didn't think too much of Ms. Fernandez's column then. I thought it was another feeble attempt at wit by yet another untalented hack. And I thought it was sad that for all the chi-chi-ness she tried to project, she flew economy on an international airline...ay pobrecita! I didn't know she had reprised that same train of thought on OFWs in her People Asia column until a few days ago. So I proceeded to read the piece over the weekend. This time around, the insult was more pointed and obscene. She said she was trying to be funny, but obviously she had failed miserably, not due to the lack of sense of humor on the reader's part, but her obvious lack of writing talent. Her piece had bombed, and she was now reaping the consequences of her poor choice of words and her, well, unfunniness (yes, folks there is such a word). She was blogged to death...the OFW community unleashing their vengeance like a tidal wave, calling for a boycott of both People Asia and MST. I can only say, ang tindi talaga ng Filipino bloggers! Wow!

Last I heard, Ms. Fernandez had submitted her resignation to both People Asia and MST editors. I don't know if this has been accepted. I suppose, in their aim for a wider readership, the editors thought the presence of Ms. Fernandez could help bring class to their publications. Too bad, all they got was poor taste. Well, we all make mistakes. Perhaps the editors of these publications can consider the feelings of our OFWs and let her go.

Ms. Fernandez has apologized (rather belatedly after trying to stand her ground during the first backlash), and as fellow human beings, we can only accept and forgive. Let's stop all this name calling and insulting comments about fat people and pigs, etc. because it's unproductive and you are being just as bigoted as Ms. Fernandez. Don't stoop to her level. Her weight is not the issue, it's her insensitivity and dull writing. (Oops!) Okay, tama na 'yan...let's get on with our lives.

Peace people!

P.S. Stay tuned for my vacation photos, guys!

Diamonds on your eyes, sugar on your lips

Something Like Life
Aug. 10. 2007

TRUE story.

I was walking out of a Makati supermarket in just my shorts, T-shirt and sandals one weekend in the late ’80s, struggling with four heavy bags of groceries on each hand and grappling with my equally heavy shoulder bag. “Walang ka-poise-poise!” as my gays friends would shriek.

To my horror, I saw, approaching the same path I was walking on, my college crush, “C,” this guy who I would just melt at the sight of and absolutely go nuts over whenever he would smile at me or just sit beside me. (He did a couple of TV ads in his day, so you can just imagine the zillions of girls falling at his feet. C was the original crush ng bayan for most of us at the university.)

What was horrifying, however, was because I was wearing my pambahay clothes, I never bothered to wear any makeup. When you’re in your 20s, you think you can get away with anything, like a bare face and wet hair, which, to tell you the truth, is not how my mother raised me. To her, it was always, “Dry your hair and put on your makeup before leaving the house.” And to hell if everybody has to wait for you. Beauty has to come first, and sometimes you have to suffer for it. But then, we always try to ignore our mothers’ sage advice, don’t we?

So it was my mother’s voice I was hearing in my head when I saw C that day, admonishing me in her “I told you so” voice. I knew I looked rather a fright, with no presentable face to speak of, and—for sure—with my hair in knots and flyaways all over the place. We chatted for a few minutes, but out of sheer humiliation, I extricated myself from the conversation with some rather poor excuse just so that I could get away from him fast.

Trust female vanity to make any humiliating event such as the above become a life-changing moment. Since that awfully shameful experience, I have never left the house without any makeup on (well, except on emergencies). Who knows who I would meet by accident next time around, right? An ex-lover or boyfriend, an old boss, or some VIP like the Pope. Even my old friends have learned from my experience and often quote my anecdote to justify why it takes them so long just to put their faces on.

But don’t get me wrong. The experience hasn’t totally turned me into a cosmetics nut. On regular days, I just splash on the sheerest of hues just to give some bit of color to my eyes, cheeks and lips. But even when I’m in a rush, I make sure I have at least some lipstick and gloss on.

However, I do try to be up-to-date with the season’s colors and style trends. I am glued to the TV set once programs on ambush makeovers are on, or when popular makeup artists guest on Oprah’s or Tyra’s show. My favorite episode of Oprah is when her personal makeup artist, Reggie Wells, taught her and a few other women the correct way of putting on makeup. The best tip I got out of the show was that it takes three colors to blend and make the perfect lip color. (I think Reggie Wells is a genius with the way he transforms Oprah into the gorgeous creature that we see on the tube every day.)

So what is it with women and their cosmetics? Most men don’t understand why we go through the whole bit and think that we spend way too much time painting our faces. They try to convince us that all they need is our clean bare faces, but in the next instant, they fall in love with the girl with the perfect sheer foundation and the most gorgeous red lips!

Kidding aside, I think of makeup as an accessory. Just like a watch, jewelry or a leather belt. Makeup is like that special element in your wardrobe that completes your outfit and makes you even look more fabulous than you already are. Don’t you just feel a tad bouncier when you know you have the perfect makeup on? Not too heavy, not too light, but just right to bring out and enhance your features? And it’s the beginning of another perfect day.

So a couple of weeks ago, I attended the launch of Revlon’s Limited Edition Collection for 2007 to check out what’s new in the makeup world. I personally use Revlon, especially its ammonia-free hair dye, which, unlike other hair dyes, does not dry out your mane, nor does it irritate your scalp when applied. I must say, my very first professional makeup kit, a gift from my dear mother, was from Revlon. The long box featured an array of luscious lip colors and a great many palette choices for my eyes and cheeks in varying shades of brown and dark red.

Revlon’s Limited Edition Collection projects elegance and sophistication, with a range of products and colors to suit your every mood. Most are in glossy or pearlized finishes, making your lips shine and your eyes and cheeks glow.

I have just started experimenting on the Molten Metal Liquid Shadow, which is easy to use and dries quickly after you paint it over your eyelids. It can be worn alone or mixed with other colors to create a luminous metallic look.

I also began using the Midnight Swirl Lip Lustre, which doesn’t only look good but smells fabulous as well. It has a soft brush applicator that sensuously delivers the perfect lip look every time.

What I absolutely love is the Golden Affair Sculpting Blush that highlights your cheeks with its gold flecks, with the base color sculpting or contouring the cheekbones. It also comes in a neat package, with the gold flecks tightly packed in a swirl over the main blush color.

And, of course, the Bare It All Lustrous Powder just sets the perfect finish over your makeup, shoulders and décolletage, giving you an overall sexy luminous sheen. No wonder someone said I was “blooming” at a friend’s party the other night, ahem! Maybe blooming isn’t the apropos word; it should’ve been “glowing.”

And you will positively glow with this limited collection. Other products available are the Bare All Lustrous Lotion, the Pinch Me Sheer Gel Blush, Sugar Sugar Lip Topping, Crushed Velvet Lip Crème and—come September—the Diamond Lust Sheer Shadow, Lash Jewel Eye Accent and Just Bitten Lip Stain.

In the ’80s, Revlon started an ad campaign using celebrities like Audrey Hepburn, Liza Minnelli, Brooke Shields, Cindy Crawford, etc., with the slogan “The most unforgettable women use Revlon.” They have since updated this campaign, shortening its slogan into, “Be unforgettable,” and now have as its endorsers Julianne Moore and Halle Berry.

Now, shouldn’t you be one of them?

Kidnapping of Filipinos...the video clip

IN case you haven't seen the clip yet, below is the testimony given by Rory Mayberry, a former employee of First Kuwaiti General Trading & Contracting Co., at the US House of Representatives Oversight Committee hearing on allegations of waste, fraud, and abuse at the new $600-million US Embassy in Iraq. Mayberry alleges that the company kidnapped Filipinos and other Third World nationals to work on the construction project.



For a background on First Kuwaiti and its labor practices, read the story below. It also talks about an earlier group of Filipinos complaining of mistreatment by the company.

BAGHDAD EMBASSY BONANZA
Kuwait Company’s Secret Contract & Low-Wage Labor
by David Phinney, Special to CorpWatch
February 12th, 2006

Work for what is planned to be the largest, most fortified US embassy in the world was quietly awarded last summer to a controversial Kuwait-based construction firm accused of exploiting employees and coercing low-paid laborers to work in war-torn Iraq against their will.

More than a few U.S. contractors competing for the $592-million Baghdad project express bewilderment over why the U.S. State Department gave the work to First Kuwaiti General Trading & Contracting (FKTC). They claim that some competing contractors possessed far stronger experience in such work and that at least one award-winning company offered to perform all but the most classified work for $60 million to $70 million less than FKTC.

“It's stunning what First Kuwaiti has been able to get from the State Department,” one contractor said.

Several other contractors that competed for the embassy contracts shared similar reactions and believe that a high-level decision at the State Department was made to favor a Kuwait-based firm in appreciation for Kuwait's support of the invasion and occupation of Iraq.

“It was political,” said one contractor.

Mohammad I. H. Marafie, chairman and co-owner of FKTC, is a member of one of the most powerful mercantile families in Kuwait.

(Click CorpWatch for the rest of the story.)

How much of the Philippines have you visited?

I just took this neat test at Lakbayan and got a grade of B! (Check out the map in my sidebar.) There is so much to see in this beautiful country of ours...it's worth all the rough roads, messy toilets, and hard to comprehened dialects. But anywhere you go, I can assure you, the people are friendly and helpful. So take out your maps and start exploring!

Yours, mine, ours

Something Like Life
BusinessMirror, Aug. 3, 2007

“All you need is love.” --- Beatles, 1967

WHEN we are young, we often delude ourselves that no problem in the world will ever affect our relationship with our significant other. But once married, and raising a family, financial realities will set in and love sometimes takes a back seat. Couples start thinking of next month’s rent, the utility bill, grocery/food expenses, the kid’s tuition, medical/medicine bill, etc. Unless both of you are independently wealthy, money will be a constant cause of concern and discussion in the family.

In the US financial problems are a leading cause of divorce. Although no comparative surveys are available for the Philippines, it isn’t far-fetched to think that domestic disputes do arise among couples over how family funds are spent by their spouses.

One of the common issues raised by wives against their husbands is the latter’s apparent lack of awareness over the rising prices of groceries. “Doesn’t he know that since his gas expenses rise, the prices of groceries also rise as well?” is a usual complaint I hear.

And while an argument may often revolve around a certain amount spent irresponsibly by the spouse (like, “How can she spend P10,000 on shoes and a party dress?!” as one incredulous husband asked me), the underlying issue is actually about how financial priorities are being handled. Suddenly, hubby comes home with a new car to surprise his wife on their anniversary, even when the family already has two other vehicles. Which is what happened to Sheila, 43. “It would have been better if we just went on vacation instead, just the two of us. It doesn’t matter where, even if it was in Boracay, at least it would’ve been cheaper,” instead of the gas-guzzling Ford Expedition he brought home.

TV personality and personal finance adviser Chiqui Hollmann-Yulo says constant communication, especially where money matters are concerned, is vital to keep a couple’s relationship real. When she came home from the US nine years ago, she had no job. “I wasn’t used to depending on other people for money. As early as 10, I was working already, teaching Hawaiian [dance classes]. My mom taught all of us to work. So when I came home [and I didn’t have a job], that was the first time I had to rely on my husband for money.”

She says her husband, Prandy, gave her a regular budget to pay for household expenses and their children’s needs, but when she went out shopping with her friend, she couldn’t buy all the things she wanted. When she talked to Prandy about it, he told her that maybe she could find friends who had husbands with the same earning capacity as he, to learn how she could live on her budget. Chiqui realized her friend, who had a foreigner husband with an expatriate’s salary, had more than enough money for her shopping sprees at 6750. She took Prandy’s advice and went out with other friends who didn’t spend as much.

Gina, 51, says that when her husband Doods wants to buy something, “I let him. It’s his money, bahala sya.” In the same manner, he doesn’t interfere with purchases from her own bank account. But when they finally came around to building a house, she says they constantly talked about the money that went into the house. “I had to explain to him, for example, why it was less costly in the long run to buy laminated flooring. It was expensive, yes, but it carried a 50-year warranty and is scratch-proof.”

Even if you come from different backgrounds, money issues can be worked out by just talking about it. This makes sure that both of you are on the same page. If there is a problem, spell it out. But as Chiqui says, be calm, “wag kang palaban.”

• Set the stage for the financial discussion by making sure both of you are in a relaxed state, and your surroundings are calm and positive.

• It helps to talk about how you were raised by your parents—how much your allowance was as a child, what you bought with it, your ideas on saving, what your parents did when you asked them to buy you something. Your attitudes about money are really shaped by your family. If you had parents who splurged on you, you will likely do the same to your own kids. If your husband was brought up to be thrifty, don’t be surprised if you two are constantly butting heads.

• In discussing, say, a huge credit card debt you or your husband may have wracked up, focus on what should be done about the problem, instead of fighting about how the debt got so high in the first place. And don’t assume that your way of solving the problem is the right way. Your spouse may have a better idea, so be open about it. “There was a time we didn’t use our credit cards. That was for about three years. Prandy just told me we were spending too much. So now, we use the credit cards only for emergency purchases. If we don’t have the money to buy the item, then we don’t,” says Chiqui.

• Establish common goals as early as you can. If you both want to buy a house, make sure you both understand the sacrifices that need to be made to be able to reach that goal. If you have to borrow money to build that house, talk about the monthly interest rates and how much money both of you have to set aside to make the monthly loan payments.

• A joint account should be set up for the regular expenses of rent, groceries, school projects, or utility bills. Establish a separate bank account for common goals, e.g., down payment on a future house, a grand family vacation, or retirement.

• Couples should try to share information about all their monies even if they keep separate bank accounts. Know how much money is in those accounts, the amount being invested into what trust fund, the insurance and the pension plan, etc. As Chiqui says, “Whatever happens, ’di ka nakatanga.”

• There are many software programs like Quicken or Microsoft Money that will help you and your spouse organize your finances and keep track of your expenses.

Talking about financial matters with your spouse doesn’t have to be World War III. It is important to keep your heads cool, although even if you do fight, it is better than not talking about the problem at all. Honesty is always the key and it is best to immediately lay all your cards on the table. Think of your marriage as a business partnership. Your common goal should be financial health and wellness, just like any company. And to that end, there are ways of sticking to a budget, keeping track of your expenditures, and cutting out the unnecessary expenses.

In a survey a couple of years ago by Fair Isaac, a credit-scoring company in the United States, they asked 1,022 Americans what personal traits were most important to having a long-term relationship. Faithfulness and honesty came in first and second, and financial responsibility came in third. Fourth was sense of humor. Guess what? Sexual compatibility came last for both male and female respondents. Something to think about, right?

(My column, Something Like Life, is published every Friday in the Life section of BusinessMirror. Photo from BusinessMirror)

Dog shoots owner in the back

A Memphis, Tenn., man is in critical condition Wednesday after his dog shot him in the back. (Read it on Fox News.)

This is why I prefer cats.

IMF: Better collection, not new taxes, is needed

By Daxim Lucas
Inquirer 08/01/2007

The Philippines may not need new taxes to shore up the state coffers, but the administration of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo needs to focus on improving revenue collections to ensure the sustainability of the country’s fiscal recovery, the head of the International Monetary Fund (IMF) said.

Speaking to business leaders in Makati City on Tuesday, IMF managing director Rodrigo de Rato stressed that improving tax efficiency was the key to preserving the government’s gains from the enactment of a law that expanded the scope raised the rate of the value-added tax (VAT) and helped to stave off a fiscal crisis.

“The Philippines needs no new taxes, but it needs more people to pay taxes,” he said. (More at IMF on taxes.)

Haven't we been saying this for the longest time? I always thought we didn't to raise the VAT to 12% and penalize the general public for what is largely, the Bureau of Internal Revenue's/government's inefficiency in collecting taxes. The problem is, we ordinary citizens keep on paying our taxes religiously, but most of the money ends up in the pockets of unscrupulous and corrupt government officials anyway. And those who don't pay their taxes aren't even being run after by the BIR. Guess why? To this day, the bureau still hasn't modernized its system – it actually doesn't have a master list of taxpayers in the country.

(The only thing I admire about BIR is its web site. You can download tax forms and read the country's tax laws.)

Trinoma on a Saturday

All these people just sitting around...how ironic considering it's an "activity" center.

New look!

Hello friends! It was time for a change so here's a new look for my blog. Hopia like it :-)

La Salle spirit

These shirts are so panalo! I'm gonna get myself some. For purchases, click http://animoism.multiply.com

Congratulations to the kids behind this enterprise. Makes me so proud to be a La Salista.

Animo La Salle!

Are you having a toxic day or just being OA?

Something Like Life
July 27, 2007

I FIRST heard the term “toxic” a couple of years back to describe one’s extremely busy day, when one had absolutely no time to attend to anything else except work. (This, of course, from someone who had 1,000 and one “genius” ideas, not one of which has taken off from the drawing board.)

Do you find yourself running around like a headless chicken from one job assignment to the next, or rushing from one meeting to another, in a valiant attempt at earning more income, commissions or fat bonuses?

When I look at most 40- or 50-year-olds these days, many of them in executive and managerial positions, they appear far too obsessed with their work. They juggle all their tasks—this, despite having a number of staff or assistants at their beck and call—that they hardly have time for friends outside of work. Call them up and they’re either in another meeting or driving to another company event, their usual opportunity to network with colleagues and potential clients. Text them and they won’t respond ’til the next day, and probably call only when they finally remember they need something from you. Even e-mailing these workaholics will get a response days later unless you are offering them a work opportunity, in which case they will not only e-mail back but actually call!

You try to understand their situation because they’re trying to support a family, right? After all, no matter what the President says in her Sona, we live in economically challenging (or is it challenged?) times, when even the appreciating dollar has no effect whatsoever on lowering the prices of good and services in the country. (How can it when we still have a 12-percent VAT to pay on top of the purchase price?)

So many of these executives take on more tasks to secure a brighter future for their kids. But the truth is, all that work may actually be keeping them from their families. A number of studies show the growing number of teenage pregnancies and of kids going into drugs. Not just marijuana. But actually lethal stuff like “ice” or cocaine. Where are these kids’ parents? They’re out working, shaking hands over golf or a company party, or in yet another meeting.

I know one guy who doesn’t even respond to e-mails from his kids until a week after. (The kids told me they e-mail because they can’t even catch dad on his cell.) But are these executives really working for their children’s benefit or for their own self-aggrandizement? I know all the fluttery puffed-up feelings one gets for being constantly recognized as a “workaholic.” “Busy” or having a “toxic” day has become the new badge of honor for the working man or woman of the millennium.

Even if loaded with tons of work, there are ways to deal with these intelligently without forgetting there is a life outside the four corners of your office. Eugene, a veep in an accounting firm, goes to the company office in the morning where he holds meetings or signs papers until lunchtime. At about 2 pm he takes off for his managerial consultancy where he has his own set of meetings with partners and clients. By 6 to 6:30 pm, he is out of the office and on the way home to hopefully catch dinner with his family.

Once in a while, he does go to dinner meetings or cocktails, “but only when it really can’t be avoided.” Not all the cocktail events you’re invited to are important anyway. Sometimes you just see the same faces, many of whom are just a phone call away during regular hours, he explains.

“It’s all about time management,” Eugene stresses, when I ask him how he manages to keep both his official and unofficial work from clashing into each other. It’s easier said than done, of course. In this high-tech world we live in, it’s sometimes difficult not to take on too many tasks. It takes discipline to prioritize which phone call, text message, or e-mail to answer, he says. “But you have to set the limits for your colleagues. My business partners know they can talk to me only after lunch. My mornings are totally for the office. And hindi pwede na every minute na lang, sasagot ka ng text or phone call. That’s what secretaries and assistants are for!”

Don’t be afraid to set limits for your bosses also. They should know that your office life ends at 6 pm and you would rather be home with the family by 7 pm, instead of out entertaining clients. If your boss doesn’t understand that your priority is with your family, then maybe it’s not the right company for you. No one has to be made to choose between his work and his family.

Sometimes I think people who keep themselves overly busy all the time are trying to avoid issues in other parts of their life. They don’t want any quiet time to reflect on their relationships with their spouses, their children, or their parents/siblings. Perhaps they feel that without all that work, they just don’t exist, and therefore are not validated. Work becomes an escape for them to avoid critical issues they should address in their lives.

I remember an older friend complaining to me a few years ago that she and her husband no longer had sex as regularly as they used to because both of them were extremely tired working to the bone to fund their kids’s future college education. And even when they did have that one stab at doing the nasty, it also felt like work. When I asked why she didn’t talk to her husband about it, she bitched, “We don’t even have time for sex na nga, how can we talk pa?” But I asked her if the lack of sex was really due to their being overworked or were they overworking to avoid the sex? Perhaps there was a deeper reason aside from the kids’ college fund that set them off on frenetic workdays. I sensed her brain silently clicking away as she pondered this, but she merely shrugged her shoulders in reply.

So when are all these things that we do in the name of our family actually work? Are you really having a toxic day or just being OA?

(My column, Something Like Life, is published every Friday in the lifestyle section of the BusinessMirror. Photo from BusinessMirror)

Third ambassadors’ tour brings in 650 Fil-Am tourists, foreign investors

By Ma. Stella F. Arnaldo
BusinessMirror, July 27, 2007

THE Third Ambassadors’/Consuls’ General Tour of the Philippines brought in not just eager Filipino-American tourists but also foreign businessmen looking at possible areas of investment in the country.

About 650 Fil-Ams, including a significant number of Caucasian– Americans and Canadians, were in the country from July 14 to 20, attending business and investment briefings, treated to sumptuous dinners and lunches of Philippine dishes, brought to several shopping trips, as well as entertained in various resorts and tourist destinations outside of Metro Manila.

In an interview with the BusinessMirror, Philippine Ambassador to Washington, D.C. Willy Gaa said the demand for slots in this year’s tour was overwhelming.

“So far [the tour group] has really been increasing in numbers since its start three years ago. And this year we even had to put a cap on the number of applicants for the tour. [The biggest increase came from] California, specifically, Los Angeles.... We, in fact, had more on the waiting list. We had problems with the accommodations already,” Gaa said.

In previous tours, only the Makati Shangri-La Hotel was booked for the participants, but this year, even the Peninsula Manila hosted a number of the delegations.

A number of the participants were first-time balikbayans, according to Gaa, with their Americanized children in tow, while there were some who had joined a previous tour.

Investment possibilities

Philippine Ambassador to Canada Jose Brillantes noted the growing number of American/Canadian tourists who have joined this year’s tour but also have business interests in mind.

He said that of the 68 members of the Canadian delegation, “10 of them are businessmen. They’re here for the tour first, but after, they have meetings set up with their counterparts. They’re going to look into investment possibilities, ranging from manpower recruitment to mining.”

Canada, where about 400,000 Filipinos live and work, is a major investor in mining around the world. Brillantes declined to name the investors pending closure of their deals with local businessmen.

Megaworld Corp., a property development company owned by Andrew Tan, apparently reaped the most benefit from the tour this year with the balikbayans sinking in their hard-earned dollars into several condominium units.

Angela Cortes, senior sales director of Megaworld, disclosed that the company received many inquiries into its township development called McKinley Hill, a 50-hectare property in Fort Bonifacio, Taguig.

She said she was optimistic she would close P50 million in sales by the tour’s end, as several of the Fil-Am buyers already “signed up for three units in Tuscany Private Estates and seven in Stamford Residences.”

She said a number of the buyers were ready to pay her “in dollars [cash]…. With the response we got from them [the balikbayans], we hope to hit the P100-million [sales target for the tour]. We expect more inquiries after their busy tour here.”

The Philippine Ambassadors’/Consuls’ General Tour is a brainchild of Albert del Rosario, conceived during his stint as ambassador to Washington, D.C. It was designed to encourage more Fil-Ams to visit their home country and spread the word on its business and travel opportunities.

The annual tour, begun in 2005, is a joint effort by the Departments of Foreign Affairs (DFA), Tourism, and Trade and Industry (DTI).

Participants from the US mainland paid at least $1,949 for a basic tour package from July 12 to 17, which included roundtrip airfare, four-night hotel stay (twin-share), three meals a day, including a special lunch and visit to Malacañan Palace, as well as city and day tours.

From July 17 to 20, optional tours to major provincial destinations were made available to the participants at an additional cost, ranging from $349 per person, twin sharing, to $764 per person.

The visit to Malacañang on July 16, and the photo opportunity with President Arroyo, proved to be the tour’s highlight. “I’ve visited the Philippines a number of times,” said one long-time Fil-Am resident of New Jersey, who requested anonymity, “but this is the first time I’ve ever been to Malacañang!” She said she hoped to have her eldest daughter enroll in a local private university by next year.

Even Dr. James Stadler, medical director of the Guam Memorial Hospital, who joined the tour with his Fil-Am wife, Virginia—a nurse and member of the Guam Symphony—described the visit as a “once–in–a–lifetime experience” to meet President Arroyo.

(President Arroyo greets Filipino-Americans visiting the Malacañan Palace as part of the Third Ambassadors/Consuls General Tour of the Philippines from July 14-20. Photo by Rhoy Cobilla)


But GMA disappoints

However, there were a few who had joined the previous tours, like Eloise Baza, president of the Guam Chamber of Commerce, who were disappointed and wondered “why the President did not give any speech.” No official explanation was given for this, but a DFA source told BusinessMirror that “it is now the President’s official policy to give only one speech a day.” At noon that day, the President had already spoken before participants of the 2007 Corporate Social Responsibility Expo at the Sofitel Philippine Plaza.

In the previous tours, President Arroyo had managed to whip the tour participants into frenzied clapping as she outlined the accomplishments of her administration and encouraged them to invest in the country. Last year, she even pushed the Fil-Ams to support her campaign for Charter change.

This time, the President merely exchanged a few pleasantries with some members of each tour delegation as she sat throughout the souvenir photo-taking with Executive Secreatry Eduardo Ermita, Foreign Affairs Secretary Alberto Romulo, and Trade and Industry Secretary Peter Favila.

Before the photo opportunity with the President at the Rizal Hall, the tour participants viewed the various historical items on display at the Palace museum and then had a lunch of native Filipino dishes catered by Via Mare at the Heroes’ Hall.

Baubles, bangles and beads

On July 14, the DTI urged the tour participants to invest in the Philippine countryside during a business briefing at the Forbes Town Center, a major business/residential development of Megaworld and the Bonifacio West Development Corp. at The Fort in Taguig.

During the same briefing, Bing Limjoco, president of the Philippine Franchise Association, spoke of the opportunities in investing in local franchises. She also noted the success and continuing expansion of Jollibee Foods Corp. because of franchising, edging out the US-based McDonald’s Corp. in the local fast-food business.

The tour group was also treated to a discussion of the local jewelry industry by Cecilia Ramos, owner of Ricel’s Jewelry and chairwoman of the Meycauayan Jewelry Industry Association Inc. Meycauayan, Bulacan, is envisioned to become the center of world-class fine jewelry in the Philippines, she said. Bulacan has long been known as the site of the country’s best manufacturers of gold jewelry, exporting millions of dollars worth of products to the world market.

Even before Ramos’s speech, however, many tour participants were observed checking out the gold and silver jewelry for sale at the ground floor of the Forbes Town Center. Nancy, a Honolulu-based Fil-Am, expressed particular interest in buying some pieces on exhibit. According to Ramos, the price of Philippine gold jewelry is 30- percent to 60-percent lower than those made in other countries like the US, Italy and Saudi Arabia.

In the evening of the same day, the tour group feasted on dishes from the Mindanao region during a welcome dinner hosted by the Department of Tourism at the Sofitel Philippine Plaza. A fashion show was also held featuring the Muslim-inspired creations of veteran Filipino designer Toni Galang, whose clientele include Fil-Ams on Guam and the mainland US. He is well-known for his intricately designed wedding gowns. The tour participants also lapped up Muslim accessories on display at the hotel.

‘Something new each year’

On July 15, the different delegations separated for day tours to Corregidor, an island off Manila Bay, which became the headquarters of the Allied forces in the Pacific and the temporary seat of the Philippine Commonwealth during World War II; Villa Escudero, a resort featuring man-made waterfalls amid a vast coconut plantation; and Tagaytay to get a glimpse of the world-famous Taal Volcano.

Businessman Frank Shimizu, president of Ambros Inc., the wholesale distributor of Budweiser, as well as Bristol Myers, Kimberly Clark and Mead Johnson products in Guam and the Northern Marianas, said, “It’s my first time [to join the tour] and it won’t be my last. . . . We went to Corregidor and it was an eye-opener. Anybody who wants to learn about World War II, I recommend that they go see Corregidor.” Shimizu was in town with his wife Fermina, the aunt of Guam’s First Lady Joann Camacho.

The most enthusiastic among tour participants appeared to be Atty. Alexander Modaber, the US Public Defender for Guam, who had joined the two previous Ambassadors/Consuls General Tour. Of his third tour, Modaber said: “They’ve added something new and each time is a new experience…. Everybody had a great opportunity when they had different trips to the various regions in the Philippines. So it’s a tremendous opportunity to see the Philippines, to see the culture and to see the things outside of Manila. Of course, what’s amazing, too, is you get to go to the museums and just learn so much. There’s always something new to see. You can always take something out of it.”

Aside from the visit to the Palace museum, the participants also toured the National Museum for Philippine artwork, the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas Money Museum for its coin collection, and the Metropolitan Museum for its precolonial gold exhibit.

Originally from Las Vegas, Modaber said he’s looking for investment opportunities in local condominiums “and eventually retire in the Philippines.”

The tour group was also brought to major shopping destinations in the metropolis, such as the Mall of Asia of the SM Group along Roxas Blvd., and Tiendesitas, a bazaar in Pasig City.

Jollibee tests new restaurant concept

Since it has already saturated the local fast food service market, Jollibee Foods Corporation, headed by Tony Tan Caktiong, President-CEO, is now testing the market for a new restaurant concept patterned after the roadside eateries or "karinderia" that is popular with the masses.

The firm said it is testing TIO PEPE’s Karinderia which serves Filipino food at very low price points, aimed mainly at people in the work force in urban centers. The pilot restaurant is located in Edsa Central. (from Manila Bulletin, July 25, 2007)

I don't want to steal the thunder from Tony Tan Caktiong for making Jollibee the number one fastfood chain in the Philippines. It should make every Pinoy proud that it is only in the Philippines where a Filipino-owned fastfood firm has beaten the mighty McDonald's brand, and at same time, has given jobs to a lot of Filipinos.

But must Jollibee, under the guise of business expansion, invade the provenance of thousands of carinderia owners, people in the informal economy who are just trying to help support their families? I don't want to begrudge Mr. Tan Caktiong his profit margins, but I think this carinderia plan is a step in the wrong direction for the Ernst & Young's world entrepreneur awardee.

The ‘Manang’ Diaries (With Apologies to Francine)

Something Like Life
July 20, 2007

INSPIRED by my colleague’s piece on her experience with her son’s nanny, I am moved to write about domestic help and our relationships with them. And also because we have a new girl staying with us.

I remember growing up with domestic help – we called them “maids” back then – who spoke English clearly, were clean in body and around the house as well, and had enough common sense to react appropriately in any given situation. They often stayed with the family until they got married, and had that now-elusive quality of malasakit, or concern, toward their employers and their children.

Almost everyone I know has one or two favorite memories of their family’s domestic help. Perhaps this is due to the fact that these helpers, if they stay long enough, often turn out to become part of one’s family as well. Although they perform household services, they are treated the same as one’s next of kin and, in some celebrated cases among the upper crust, even inherit more money than their employer’s own children because of their undying affection and loyalty.

(Remember how Will & Grace parodies the relationship between employer and maid with Karen and her Rosario always throwing sarcastic lines at each other, tormenting each other with their cruel and unusual treatments, but actually can’t live without each other.)

To me, the househelp were ate or manang out of respect as they were much older than me. (It was ate, as well for a gay househelp – much to the chagrin of my father whom I suspect was a tad homophobic, and also because he tired out his lungs calling for “her” while it took her forever to use the rest room out back. I remember ate fondly for wearing red shorts around the house, which she cleaned to an almost Tide-sparkling white perfection!)

As a child with parents always out of the house, one tends to be attached to the househelp. With no one around, I would sometimes sneak off to eat with them (which is how I learned to love tuyo/daing and sinangag) or hang around with them watching the afternoon soap operas or a Nora Aunor flick (which is also probably why I am an Ate Guy fan to this day). In fact, I remember bawling my eyes out after I saw the Superstar “die” then slowly walk up the steps to heaven in a swirl of clouds and hallelujah choruses. I can never live that crying fit down and to this day, I am teased by my family about this sordid episode.

Except for one or two bad eggs and the occasional run-ins with my aging grandmother who was used to overseeing household operations like an office manager, most of our domestic help, including nannies and drivers, had pleasant relationships with my family. I remember Christmas especially, because it was a big thing for all of us and the househelp were also given their presents, usually pretty clothes or bonuses, in reward for their outstanding work and loyalty to the family. They, too, would share in our Christmas feast, except for the queso de bola which most of them found nauseating much to our amusement.

But those who grew up with domestic help surely will have already noticed that the quality of those now in their employ no longer measures up to those who performed such excellent services 10 to 20 years ago.

It just seemed that overnight, there were no longer any intelligent, hardworking and caring domestic help to hire. With the economy in crisis after crisis, I assume many of these girls from the provinces turned to other employment opportunities to make a faster buck and keep their families afloat. If these girls didn’t become prostitutes in Malate and Ermita, they went on to become dancers in Japan or worked as domestics/nannies in Singapore, Hong Kong and the Middle East.

According to the owner of an employment agency for domestic help, stay-in, all-around domestic help are paid a starting salary of P3,000 a month up to P6,000, depending on their level of skills and intelligence. Some of those in the upper bracket can speak English, have worked abroad, and know their way with a computer or have taken baking/cooking lessons. She said that she even had an applicant with an international driver’s license, o ha?! I began consulting with the employment agency after I found it necessary to have someone to stay with my aging parents, considering that my work often takes me out of the house and even out of the country.

But if you think about it, what is P3,000 worth these days? It isn’t even enough to pay for a househelp’s basic necessities, much less the baon for her children if they are at school. In comparison, domestic helpers are paid about HK$6000 in Hong Kong, or about P37,000!

So I’m not surprised about the dearth in good househelp these days. The employment agency already brought in three applicants for my mother to interview and they were either DUH! (you know the kind, glazed look and all?), had a touch of arrogance for having worked abroad already, or just didn’t return.

Right now we’re trying out a new girl – the sister of a former househelp – who needs the work to support her toddler. She is an unwed mother, which would probably explain her often-unsmiling face. I don’t have any major complaints about her, but I just find her a tad depressing because of her overall demeanor.

Her sister was at least very biba and knew how to make us laugh, especially my brooding parents. Unfortunately, she can’t live with us full time as she is utterly devoted to her growing children. My only beef about her was she often took shortcuts when cleaning the house. But she was alert and had a happy disposition, and truly had become part of the family. When my father would realize that he had mistakenly blamed her for some error not of her doing, he would quickly apologize to her – and this from a family not exactly quick with apologies among ourselves.

My mother, on the other hand, is going nuts teaching her sister the rudiments of cleaning a household. In the first place, my mother has very little patience – big wow that she never became a schoolteacher. Coupled with this is the seeming lifeless response of the new girl. I try to mitigate the difficulties in the new relationship between employer and househelp by patiently re-explaining my mother’s instruction to the new girl, but I look into her eyes and I wonder whether she is actually there. Does she understand what I’m saying or is she still rueing about her future without the man who got her pregnant and had left her to her own devices?

At times like these, I wish we didn’t need househelp. Abroad, alone, I was perfectly content doing my own laundry, cleaning my flat and cooking my own meals. But I only had a 60-square-meter home then and not living in a three-floor townhouse, with other family members to think of like I am now.

Like any new relationship, this one we have with our new househelp will need patience and understanding. Maybe even more so than the usual. It will mean extreme pakikisama to make sure she will agree to stay with us for a long time. This is going to be a very looong month for me.

(My column, Something Like Life, is published every Friday in the Lifestyle section of the BusinessMirror.)

Vitamin C pills don't combat colds – researchers

LONDON – Vitamin C supplements are practically useless in a bid to avert colds, researchers concluded in analysis published Wednesday.

Branding the widely-held belief a myth, they found that only individuals under extreme stress, such as soldiers and marathon runners, benefited at all from the supplements.

They were 50 percent less likely to catch a cold if they took vitamin C daily, the Finnish and Australian scientists said.(Click on blog title to take you to the news link.)

Now you're telling us!

I've been taking Vitamin C supplements (Ascorbic acid) for years...sometimes as high as 1,500 mg during the cold season. All I know is, if I stop taking those pills even for two days (sometimes I forget or am too busy with assignments), I'm sure to get a cold.

I'm pretty sure chicken soup will be next on these researchers' list of myths.

Email manners

The thing I detest the most since the invention of the email is the explosion of spam and forwarded mails. While spam can often be controlled in webmail clients by adjusting your email settings, it is almost a hopeless situation when it comes to forwarded mail.

Not a day goes by when my inboxes in my various webmail clients don't contain some forwarded mail. If it comes from a relative or friend, syempre I can't categorize their email address as spam unless I'm willing to risk missing the chance that they will actually send me a real personal note containing their own thoughts, expressions, feelings and ideas, right? (Asa pa ako.)

What I don't like about forwarded mail (aside from them being usually idiotic jokes, boring anecdotes of other people, or chain letters which say you will receive some good news the minute you forward the same email to other people!) is how the sender usually exposes your email addresses to other recipients. Parang, kilala ko ba 'yang ibang tao na pinagsi-CC mo? Don't these frequent forwarders see the BCC feature on their email composer?

To those who still don't know what it is, BCC means Blind Carbon Copy. It is a means to send email to multiple recipients without exposing their email addresses especially to people who don't know them. It's a privacy issue, okay? Think about it, do you want me to send your cellphone number to 20 other people without asking your permission? It's the same thing.

So I gently remind these frequent forwarders that I appreciate their email but to please use the BCC feature on their email next time. Some will email back that they promise to do so, but lo and behold! another one will again send her forwarded mail with all the recipients listed and exposed! Ang tigas ng ulo da vah?

Syempre I don't want to be rude naman. But for those who really don't get it, I send this link Thanks.No which has helped reduce my number of frequent forwarders. When all else fails, I just categorize the nutheads' email address as SPAM so whatever they send me will end up in spam/junk folder. Or I automatically delete the mail. Sorry nalang kayo, ang kukulit nyo e! (Believe it or not, one person actually asked me why I wasn't responding to her forwarded mail. Hello? Hilo ka ba?)

Personally I think people who keep forwarding mail just have too much time on their hands. (I know one who does this about three times a week!) They're probably bored with their own insignificant lives that they have to forward mail to make them feel like they're doing something worthwhile in the world. Why don't you just volunteer to build a home for the poor kaya? Or save the whales! Maybe help stop climate change?

But if they think it's a way for them to keep in touch with their friends and relatives, then they're dead wrong. It's an annoying habit that should be done away with. I mean, why don't they just write a real personal note telling the recipients how they're doing, da vah? I'd rather read an email from my buddy who tells me about the recent restaurant he's visited, or an email from a friend who makes kwento about her latest boyfriend conquests. At least even if we don't see or talk to each other everyday, we're still updated about each others lives. That's keeping in touch!

So read my lips kids...forwarded email is JUNK! Stop mailbox pollution!

Dating with Kids

Something Like Life
July 13, 2007

A FRIEND who lives in the province e-mailed me last week after he had read my previous columns on dating. Gene – which is not his real name, of course, or he would kill me – brought up an interesting issue in his note. He was anxious about his own dating situation.

You see, Gene is very much interested in a colleague at his office, who happens to be separated from her husband. Which is not the problem actually. The sticky point is, she has two kids—aged 6 and 10—and Gene is absolutely mortified on what to do about them. So far, he and, umm, let’s call her Cindy, have just had casual lunches at the cafeteria or at the small eateries near their office. (Ano ba ’yan kapatid, Jollibee na naman?! Haay!)

He thinks she likes him a lot, too. But Gene has yet to ask Cindy out for The Big Date. You know, the one where he will have to actually pick her up from her home and meet her kids, before he can take her out to a fine-dining restaurant or a movie. Right now, all he’s done is bring her home after work, but he has yet to set foot inside the abode and meet the little monsters. What to do? What to do?

Of course, after calling him a wuss, and berating him for having no balls to move forward and ask the possible wife-material out on a real date, I did acknowledge his fears that pursuing a relationship with Cindy may bring a few challenges. It won’t be easy because there are other individuals involved whose feelings he will have to be sensitive to. But if he and she are really determined, perhaps they could make the relationship work. I told him that for all he knows, his fears could be unfounded and the kids could actually like him. Nevertheless, it’s always good idea to put your best foot forward as in any situation.

Okay, it’s the day of the big date. You’re off to pick up your lady and meet her kids for the first time. Bring a gift, why don’t you? Sure, everyone, especially the kids, will know you’re just sucking up to them, but it is a respectable gesture nonetheless. Besides, it will make you feel good about yourself if the kids do like the gift, and will also stack up the pogi points in your favor with your beloved.

Now, you don’t have to give the kids the latest PlayStation or an Xbox console as they’re not yet your stepkids, okay? It can be as simple as chocolates, or comic books, or maybe a music CD or a movie on DVD. You will have to do a bit of research on this, and find out from your discussions with your intended paramour what exactly her kids are interested in so that you can buy them the appropriate gift.

Remember, that there will always be her ex- to deal with. Good for you if your lady and her ex- split up amicably, and both have agreed to go on their separate ways and not interfere in each other’s dating habits. But if there are still lingering feelings of either love or jealousy between the two of them, watch out. You may suddenly wake up one morning with your hands and your feet tied down with weights while you slowly drown at the bottom of someone’s swimming pool.

The ex- will be your toughest audience. He will, of course, assess your suitability to be his children’s step-parent. At his worst, he will probably do a background check on you to see if you have ever been a convicted felon, a drug addict or a child molester. In short, the ex- will probably not like you, no matter how respectful you are of his relationship with his kids and his ex-wife. Just accept the fact that your lady’s ex- will never be your No. 1 fan (unless he’s Bruce Willis and you’re Ashton Kutcher), even if – or especially if – his kids learn to love you. So just keep looking behind your back, bub.

Remember that the kids will always come first. So be prepared to have your grand plans with your beloved be broken at the last minute (“Mikee didn’t tell me he has an art project due tomorrow, and we still haven’t bought the materials!”). So you spent a humongous amount of money to buy scalped tickets for a concert of her favorite singer? Forget it. There will be times when she will cancel on you because of what you will probably feel are poor excuses (“Cesca came down with the flu kasi!”). You won’t be able to do anything about this. Your efforts at planning a long-awaited dinner at the newest restaurant with the long reservation list will never stack up to the sudden problems your lady will have to deal with at home.

After the initial awkwardness of the first few dates with “mommy’s new boyfriend,” hopefully the kids will become more accepting of you (especially after you keep bringing around their favorite Yellow Cab pizzas every week). The next obvious step is to include them in your “dates” with their mom. Catch a movie, dine at some restaurant together (for sure it will be cheaper than your dates with your lady as the kids will probably choose some fast-food burger joint), go ice-skating, take them to the carnival, or even an overnight vacation to a nearby beach. These activities together will not only cement your relationship with your lady, but also show the kids that you’re not treating their mom as just a passing fancy. They will see that you are serious in including them in your life, in a bid to pursue a deeper and more meaningful relationship with the entire family. (Just mind your pocket. It will surely hurt after all these group activities. Consider the expenses as an investment in your future.)

However, try not to fall in love with your lady’s kids too much. For some, the relationship with Ms. Lady With Kids may not always lead to a positive outcome. For one reason or the other, there might be a breakup, and where would that leave you and your relationship with the kids?

Of course, staying cool all throughout the dating process with their mom will be difficult, especially if they are actually lovable children. And you don’t have a stone-cold heart to begin with. But just make sure that if a breakup does come, you will have enough strength to reassure the children that while you may no longer be around in their lives regularly, they will still have a special place in your heart. But, sorry, there can be no more late-night phone calls about monsters under their bed.

(My column, Something Like Life, is published every Friday in the Lifestyle section of the BusinessMirror. Photo from BusinessMirror)

Philippine president condones child abuse/pedophilia

(Jalosjos photo from the web.)

Below is a portion of the letter to the public of the victim of child rapist Romeo Jalosjos, whose jail sentence has just been commuted by his friend and political ally, Presidentita Gloria Macapagal Arroyo.

"Mismong Presidente ng Pilipinas ay kumakampi kay Romeo Jalosjos, child rapist. Paano humaharap sa sarili nila at sa ibang tao ang mga kakampi ni Romeo Jalosjos? Paano nila nasisikmura na ang mga kinakampihan nila ay nanggahasa ng isang bata? (The President of the Philippines herself has taken the side of Romeo Jalosjos, child rapist. How do the allies of Jalosjos face themselves and other people? How can they stomach the fact that they align themselves with someone who has raped a child?)," read the letter to the public.

"Wala ba silang mga anak, kapatid, pinsan, apo? Wala ba silang takot sa Diyos? Wala ba silang kahit konting awa? Wala bang natatakot na manggahasa muli ang isang child rapist? (Don’t they have children, siblings, cousins, grandchildren? Don’t they have any fear of God? Don’t they have even a little pity. Isn’t anybody afraid that a child rapist will rape again?)," she continued. (Source: Phil. Daily Inquirer, July 12, 2007)


Jalosjos' victim was but 11 years old when he raped her. She is now 24 years old, living in another country, under an assumed name, but her nightmare continues...

SHAME ON YOU GMA!

Rock on Lolo!

I watched Jay Leno the other night and he had as guests, three members of The Zimmers, a senior citizens' band formed to make people stand up and pay attention to the plight of the elderly in the UK. In situations like these, I'm glad I live in the Philippines where families still take care of their elderly at home. Seniors here are still respected for their views, and their opinions still carry a lot of weight in most families.

Anyway, I'm posting the MTV of The Zimmers, and their take on The Who's My Generation. It's really cute. I wish I had a rockin' lola or lolo. Enjoy...

Valuing your employees

Something Like Life
July 5, 2007

SOMETIME in 2003, at the height of the SARS outbreak, the pilots of Singapore Airlines (SIA) announced that they were going to accept wage cuts by as much as 16 percent, in an effort to shore up the finances of the carrier. Prior to this announcement, airline management had planned to lay off 400 personnel as the SARS epidemic had eaten into the carrier’s usually profitable bottom line. The agreement between the pilots’/officers’ unions and management was that the wage cuts were temporary, and as soon as the carrier was back in the black, their old salaries would be reinstalled and increases due them would be given.

As I recently talked with a friend going through a job crisis, I thought about what happened to SIA and how many wage earners here in the Philippines would probably make the same sacrifice. Probably not many. Perhaps none at all.

Most labor disputes here in the country, especially high-profile ones, usually ended up only one way. The closure of a company. There was a time when textile factories shut down one after the other, no longer able to compete with cheaper textiles flooding the market, produced by more efficient companies abroad.

In a number of those cases, the closure was guaranteed as soon as one saw the name of a militant labor organization being bandied on the streamers of the union that had gone on strike. The employees were taken with the brave fighting speeches of union leaders, pressing their demands, only to find themselves later out on the street, without any work and 10 children at home to feed.

The situation may have improved since those days. According to the Department of Labor and Employment, only one strike has been reported in the first half of the year, and even that labor dispute has already been settled. Most strikes have been averted by going through the process of mediation.

I think most company owners truly want the best only for their employees. But understandably, there are those who are also cruel and neglectful, and care only for their company’s bottom line. They don’t give a thought about their staff’s development and well-being, nor their customers’ convenience.

The workers’ union of one well-known department store, for example, was perennially on strike because of what remains perceived as its antilabor management practices. The company only hires sales staff on a contractual basis, six months at the most, then proceeds to hire a new set of staff after. While it saves the department store salary increases to pay for long-term employees, it results in the mediocre performance of its sales staff, with no dedication to customer service. Just try handing over a gift card to one of its cashiers, and you will be met with a blank stare and lots of fumbling over what to do with it. Sure, the store’s goods may be cheap, but its customer relations suck.

One also hears of grumblings among employees in a real-estate company, whose staff salaries have not risen over the years while their bosses keep rewarding themselves with annual raises. At a time when their company was deep in debt during the Asian financial crisis, their bosses were seen driving around in new cars and still sailing on their yachts.

I know there are companies hard-pressed to increase the salaries of their employees because of the seeming uncertainties still lingering in the country’s economy. So sometimes, even if bosses want to reward their loyal staff, their hands are tied by managerial priorities, e.g., paying off debts and expenses first.

After having been an employee for the longest time, and discussing employment issues with my peers, I realize that while financial rewards are a factor for individuals to consider staying in a company, it is not the only major consideration. After all, many wage earners these days consider themselves lucky to be in a job at a time when a number of companies are teetering on the brink of uncompetitiveness in this era of globalization.

How often have I heard the reason “Mabait s’ya” in reference to their bosses, like when I asked a friend why he still works in a company that has not given him a raise in over two years despite his hard work?

Some managers just find other ways to make their loyal staff feel appreciated to make up for financial rewards their company can hardly afford. It can be as little as remembering their secretary’s birthday, presenting gifts to their assistants during Christmas, or giving their staff extra time-off during the holidays or family emergencies.

I know one pre-need company, for example, which gives its employees a two-and-a-half-week paid leave during Christmas. The break not only saves the employees the headache of wading through massive traffic jams in the days leading up to Christmas Day, but it also gives them time to attend to their own Yuletide shopping. The company’s sales force is treated to conventions out of town or out of the country, finances permitting, while the children of its executives are entitled to free college education.

Long-time employees of a publicist I know, for example, tell me that they have stayed with the company because they are made to feel like they are “family.” And even if their boss screams at them, they know he does this to make sure they learn their lesson well. They feel it is like their father—or mother—yelling at them to shape up and not make the same mistake again. The boss also gives them tons of freebies, no doubt from his clients, which sometimes help make up for their average salaries.

Some bosses, unfortunately, lack even the emotional IQ of a chicken. They are insensitive to the psychological and emotional support needed by their long-suffering employees. Staff members who have been loyal to the company through thick and thin can hardly be expected to understand, for example, why they have been passed over for a promotion. I’ve heard one or two friends complain why management had to get an outsider to fill the shoes of a supervisor, for example, when they, the long-time employees, were eminently qualified? “Wala na ngang increase, wala pang promotion. Ano ba ’yun?”

Some managers also feel that just because they are making sacrifices, they should require their employees to do the same—this, without taking the time to explain the necessity of such sacrifices. “Matiisin s’ya” is a description of another manager I know. Sometimes the boss forgets that his staff doesn’t have the same capacity for tiis, and that he has to try to make the proper representations to management to give his staff some reward for their outstanding work. Granting management turns down his request, he should remember to sit down with his staff to explain to them the true state of the company, and why they are again without salary increases or promotions for the time being.

To earn the loyalty of one’s employees, management has to learn to trust them and make them feel like they are part of the family. Everyone has to be made to feel that his work is important to the survival of the firm.

And what’s a simple pat on the back for a job well done, a nice relaxing lunch, or even just a short vacation going to cost the manager or the company, when these little things are what may help their staff feel valued?

In short, managers need to realize that their staff are also human beings who need a break now and then, will require some pepping-up when energies or spirits sag, and will need to hear a kind word now and then to lift their morale. Sometimes, it is not the money that will make an employee happy. Sometimes, the key to an employee’s continued stay in the company could be nothing more than the feeling that he is much appreciated, and that his boss is devoted to his growth and welfare.

(My column, Something Like Life, is published every Friday, in the Life section of the BusinessMirror. Photo from the BusinessMirror.)