On his own time daw

IT'S CHAKA-TIME!

1. Da who is this Cabinet Secretary running for an elective post in May 2010, who is rarely in his government agency these days? He claims that he is doing his campaigning on "my own time", and says the agency is not spending its funds for his visits to his home province. Hay naku, sino naman ang niloloko mo ateh? In fact, it's Friday today, still a working day, and he is already there in the province, accompanied by another govt official handling a major agency.

(Libre ba yang barong mo hijo? Of course the Cabinet Secretary in question is not this gwapo.)

Oh, and we are no longer surprised why he looks well-dressed all the time. Apparently his barongs are supplied free of charge by another govt agency. Employees of that agency mutter that they hardly have a decent budget to run their projects, and here they go having to finance the Cabinet Secretary's clothing needs. Yes, fellow taxpayers...we're paying for this guys' threads. As if he can't afford to buy his own clothes. Kakahiya! Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Clue: the Cabinet Secretary's home province is synonymous to kisses.

2. DA who is the head of this newly-formed regulatory agency who is said to have hired as many as 100 consultants, some of whom are even husbands and wives? Businessmen who have to deal w/ this agency complain that there's even more corruption there than in the previous agency it had superseded.

Its inspectors, for instance, who are tasked to oversee the safety of the equipment falling under the agency's purview don't even have the skills to check said equipment's standards. So those new businessmen who want to have their equipment checked and are not aware of this, can just pay off the inpspectors to give them a passing mark. And bec. licenses and safety permits are given annually, can you just imagine the humongous amounts of money coursing through that agency under the table?!?!

Clue: The head of the agency is said to be the alaga of an ageing senator, and also of a military persuasion.

3. As early as 2005, the presidentita and the head of her transportation agency was already told of the need for Caticlan's runway to be extended by at least 200 meters more. The presidentita said, however, Boracay was already "overcrowded" and overrun by resorts. What she failed to realize however, is that Boracay is the only island saving the tourism industry of the country as even during times of economic downturns, Pinoys who can no longer afford to go on vacations abroad just go to Boracay.

Because of the shortness of the runway, however, two planes of Zest Airways were involved in crashes in January and in June this year, leading to temporary closure of the airport. (Of course, it's also due to the fact that Zest Air's Chinese-made MA60 planes aren't exactly made for short takeoffs and landings.) This led to the govt deciding to only allow Seair and lately, PAL Express to use the Caticlan runway. All other airlines have to land and takeoff in Kalibo. Consequently, most resorts and restaurants on the island have complained of a 20% drop in business, as tourists don't want to pay a premium for the convenience of landing in Caticlan, just 15 mins away from the island resort, compared to Kalibo, which is an hour and a half away.

Although the airport has been privatized and supposed to be developed by a group led by George Yang of McDonalds Phils. (Golden Arches), on our recent visit to Boracay, we didn't see any construction activity ongoing at the terminal nor the runway at all. With the recession still ongoing, and tourists not wanting to shell out more money to pay to land in Caticlan, we doubt that it would be a Merry Christmas for Boracaynons this year.

More chakahans next week!

This made me laugh!

Top 10 Reasons Why You Should NOT Volunteer or Donate:

8. Yuck, make tapak in the putik? Kadiri, noh.

***

3. You can’t live without your daily Starbucks.
(Php100 x 30 = Php3000 / Php23.00 (per 1.5L bottle of mineral water) = 500 bottles of water, enough to properly hydrate a four-member family for one month) (Click GannsDeen for the rest. Repost from MLQ3)

Ganns, this is brilliant. I didn't think Christian bloggers could be funny, haha. I hope you find work on Dave Letterman's show. (wink)

As for #3, I can add a few more variations, like, "you can't live without a new Chanel bag" or "you can't live without your Loro Piana chinchilla-trimmed long coat" or "you can't live without your Christian Louboutins." (Da who?!) Cringe-worthy!

Da who?!

Guess who was seen buying liquor at Rustan's Supermarket along Katipunan Ave., QC on Sunday, while our kababayans were still stranded all over the metropolis, or up on the roofs of their flooded homes - cold, weary, and hungry - bec. gov't rescue teams were so slow in getting to them? (After all 13 lang nga ang rubber boats ng NDCC w/c were deployed only at 10 pm on Saturday evening! Galing mo Gibo!)

Click here to find out who da who is!

Chaka khan!

Since Chikkatime's real identity has been revealed, mag-chaka khan nalang tayo!

• LOTSA things are happening over in our favorite media outfit. We hear that the head of the lifestyle channel/publishing group was recently asked to go on a "sabbatical" because he did not meet the group's financial targets. This must really hit Mr. Sabbatical pretty hard. After all, this was the same issue he had raised against his predecessor, who by most accounts, was actually the one responsible for establishing the publishing group and expanding its titles.

After Ms. Predecessor's departure, Mr. Sabbatical implemented a lot of radical changes, among them fusing a cable TV endeavor with the publishing group. He reportedly caused the flight of several top editors from the publishing dept. who could not comprehend the changes in the editorial direction (e.g. advertising dictating editorial content). Also, he canned a few magazines one of which was the "baby" of the son of the media outfit's owner.

We hear Ms. Predecessor is extremely jubilant over the news though we dare not publish her juicy quote that puts Mr. Sabbatical in the same category as the media outfit's ex-PR gal who had unjustly fired two of her staff right before she decided to run for political office. Well, she lost. Long-time observers of the goings on in the media outfit were quick to conclude: "What goes around comes around." Arayko.

• Anent to the above, the one said to be replacing Mr. Sabbatical beginning tom, March 23, is the current marketing head of the media outfit's broadcasting department. The guy is said to be top notch and had been pirated from a very large advertising company which he was connected with for about 20 years before leaving as its managing director. While some publishing guys are wary if he has the smarts to oversee the editorial direction of the magazines, Mr. Replacement's fans say that one thing that he has going for him is that "he listens." We've heard about all the awards Mr. Replacement garnered while he was in the advertising biz, and how he was able to hit the financial targets of the broadcasting department last year. We await with bated breath if Mr. Replacement can weave his magic for the lifestyle channel/publishing group as well.

• But these economic times are just difficult for the publishing business. With too many titles out in the market and declining readership, as well as reductions in advertising budgets by many companies, expect more changes in store for several publishing companies. One of these companies, owned by Filipinos of Chinese descent, is said to be dropping two of their imported titles – one dealing with career women, and another, teen-agers. One editor of another giant publishing company told us that this will probably be the trend for most magazine publishers, i.e. to give up their franchised titles and focus more on the homegrown brands. It actually makes a lot of financial sense.

• Over in the art world, who's this well known Filipino artist reportedly charging over P50,000 just to conduct painting lessons for one day? A friend who attended Mr. Artist's workshop felt shortchanged bec. of the level of artistry of the students. Our friend, who's had advanced lessons in sketching, drawing and painting, was surprised to find himself in the same workshop with an eight-year-old who was just attending his first painting lesson. Perhaps finally realizing his other students were discomfited by the beginners in the group, Mr. Artist approached our friend and taught him a few 'advanced' techniques then hung around for some drinks after to talk about art. Referring to the workshop fee he paid, our friend says, "That was a really an expensive bottle of wine."

• The supposed latest wedding date of this newsgal to her politican beau is August. We don't know what year though. Well she's the one who keeps talking about it!

Yun na!

But hus gona clean da toilet?!?!

IN the tradition of the now dead Chikkatime (sniff!), I leave you a couple of cute tidbits to tide you over the long weekend.

DA hu is this Senator who had an all-access pass to the Beijing Olympics, and who couldn't help but brandish his VIP ID to anyone who cared to talk to him or listen to him? Talk is this Senator – whose escapes from trouble are legendary – was able to secure the VIP pass from a colleague – an NPA (nonperforming asset) – who was originally assigned the ID but for some reason, didn't want to watch the Games. (Kasi siguro wala si Pac-man sa boxing team...sad.) Anyway, Mr. Senator Olympics seems to have no moral issues swiping the VIP ID from his colleague, even if he too is known as an NPA in the august body.

DA wat is this airline that is so cheap these days, it just uses only soap and water to clean its toilet bowls in its remaining planes that are flying (at the last count, it was just two), than the usual hygenic toilet duck-like chemical used by most airlines? Why only two planes? My little squirrels tell me that the rest of the fleet has been grounded, the planes cannibalized for spare parts, as the airline cuts down on its maintenance budget. Also, two of its jets have been pulled out by the lessors because airline management refuses to pay its debts owed to the leasing company. Speaking of maintenance, I also hear that the airline no longer has an experienced crew in the shop, disgusted with the way the management has been cutting corners. Most have left for Singapore for better-paying jobs. Also, its veteran pilots have flown the coop for more professionally-run airlines here and abroad. As a fellow journalist likes to remark: "But hus gona clean da toilet?!"


(Inside the NAIA-3. Photo from www.skyscrapercity.com)

DA hu is this Cabinet Secretary who was supposed to have said of his little colleague in the presidentita's family, reportedly also trying to cash in on the NAIA-3 terminal opening: "Ang tagal ko nang drinibble ito, ang lagay sya ang makikinabang?" Veterans of government contracts say that a lot of money is sure to be made from the approval of permits to concessionaires (stores, shops, boutiques, food stalls, etc.) who plan to set up in the terminal. Eased out of the NAIA-3 squeeze play, little colleague was not to be outdone. He instead got a very lucrative contract recently signed during the presidentita's recent trip to China. Aba, iba na pag paborit ni Ma'am noh?

Have a great weekend y'all!