Of fathers and sons

Something Like Life
Sept. 21, 2007

“There must always be a struggle between a father and son, while one aims at power and the other at independence.” — Samuel Johnson, July 14, 1763

THIS statement of renowned English poet and essayist Samuel Johnson, as quoted by his biographer James Boswell in his book The Life of Samuel Johnson, is no truer now than when it was first uttered centuries ago.

Like many other Filipinos, I was glued to the TV screen last Tuesday as the Senate blue-ribbon committee opened its investigation into the controversial ZTE broadband deal, now estimated at $340 million.

I was riveted to the unfolding drama as Joey de Venecia, or JDV III as the media has dubbed him, answered the senators’ probing questions into the so-called national broadband network project, or NBN, the contract between ZTE — a leading telecommunications company in China — and the Philippine government, and the alleged anomalous, not to mention scandalous way, by which the contract was hatched and signed. Too, JDV III did not mince words in identifying the key players in deal, dragging the name of Comelec chairman Benjamin Abalos and even that of First Gentleman Mike Arroyo into the sordid affair.

It was interesting to note that there in that esteemed hall of the Upper Chamber, JDV III, the son of veteran politician and House Speaker Jose de Venecia Jr., faced off against several notable “sons” of politicians as well: Mar Roxas (of the late Sen. Gerry Roxas), Alan Peter Cayetano (the late Sen. Renato Cayetano), Chiz Escudero (former congressman and agriculture secretary Salvador Escudero), Noynoy Aquino (the late Sen. Ninoy Aquino) and Jinggoy Estrada (former President Joseph Estrada).

Joey P. de Venecia III, right, re-enacts how First Gentleman Mike Arroyo told him to "back off" from the NBN deal at the Senate hearing on Sept. 18, 2007. 'Papa, can you hear me?' (Photo from GMANews.TV)

Only JDV III did not follow in his father’s footsteps and, until a couple of weeks ago, was largely unheard of, working quietly in the IT industry. Well, I’m sure we’ll be hearing more about his background as the administration cranks up its rather amateurish crisis PR group. I’ve already received several text messages from a 0927-4868279 (Hello NTC!) alleging all sorts of improprieties in JDV III and his father’s past. True or false, they have no bearing, though, on the issue at hand.

Society takes fatherhood as the ultimate expression of a man’s masculinity. And to have a son is the proudest moment in any father’s/man’s life. Despite this era where women have emancipated themselves at home and in their careers, proving that, yes, they are as worthy or useful as men are, a father will always long for a son rather than a daughter.

In a son, a man can count on the survival of the family name and the continuation of the bloodline, so to speak. Naturally, a father sees himself in the son and tries to nurture him to grow up to be “just like Dad.” Many fathers take so much pride in having sons as their first-borns that they even name their babies after themselves. Thus, we have the Juniors or the Thirds around us. One can only hope that they live up to their father’s names.

Because for every son that has achieved or surpassed the accomplishments of his father, there are a few who have failed, bringing shame to their fathers and their families. When a father is successful, his own family and society in general put a lot of pressure on the child to reach the same heights as he did. Such pressure further complicates the bond between a father and his son.

And so as I watched the Senate hearing, there was JDV III politely answering the pointed questions of the senators. But it was obvious that the most difficult inquiries he tackled were those regarding his father, the House Speaker. He looked even slightly choked up as he confessed that his only regret in coming out and telling all about the ZTE deal, was that his relationship with his esteemed father was now suffering.

It is never easy for a son to try to stand up for himself and try to do different from what his father may have done if placed in a similar situation. The consummate politician that he is, I would think Joe de V, if in his son’s place, would feverishly try to work out a compromise with Abalos and ZTE. He is one who tries to smoothen any ruffled feathers, especially those of his colleagues.

What is clear is that the Speaker is none too happy with how things have blown up. Observing how Joe de V has worked through the five terms he has headed the Lower House, I would assume that he had impressed on his son to just keep quiet and roll with the punches. Perhaps he tried to assure his son there were other projects he could bid for in the future. Joe de V presumably tried his best to persuade his son to leave the First Gentleman’s name out of the affair, and to protect his alliance with the President as much as possible. Thus, we hear JDV III go on and on calling GMA “my President,” and his constant assertion that she did not know of the details of the ZTE deal. (In fact, she did, as JDV III himself let slip later.)

For JDV III to disregard his father’s advice and risk disappointing the latter can be a gut-wrenching decision any son can make. Did anyone notice how JDV III’s face lit up, and how his eyes sparkled like a little boy’s, as he spoke of how proud his father was that President Arroyo had cited his proposal in a favorable light, telling Abalos to tailor ZTE’s bid in a similar fashion? Young or old, a son will always keep courting the approval of his father.

Will the Speaker give up his post for his son? (Photo from Peace Federation)

In an interview after Tuesday’s Senate hearing with the news channel ANC, JDV III said that his father was going out of town intimating that he knew not where their relationship was headed.

For now, we are just observers in the side drama on the Speaker and his son, JDV III. It may not be as gripping as the spectacle between Ruffa Gutierrez and her mother, the feisty Annabel Rama, but it is interesting nonetheless in the context of realpolitik. The Speaker is still safe in his seat, but if push comes to shove for the President and her husband, and Joe de V’s position is threatened, it would be intriguing to find out how the latter plays his hand.

In an interview on Wednesday, however, Joe de V said he was cancelling his trip to Rome and is standing by his son. However, he has yet to corrobate his son’s testimony regarding three instances where the Speaker may have witnessed certain events and heard statements made by the key players regarding the ZTE deal. As any politican will tell you, sometimes it is difficult to choose between duty to family and duty to country. Or in this case, to his President. Will Joe de V choose his political survival over his son? Abangan.

(My column, Something Like Life, is published every Friday in the Life section of the BusinessMirror. Main photo from the BusinessMirror)

Holiday ba?

IF you were one of the thousands watching the second day hearing of the Senate investigation into the national broadband network (NBN)-ZTE deal on TV yesterday, you would have probably been surprised with all the pala that Transportation Secretary Leonard Mendoza brought along. Imagine almost the entire Cabinet in attendance including the top gun Executive Secretary Eduardo Ermita! Government holiday ba? OA nyo! Even Sen. MAR Roxas was surprised at his former colleagues' presence. What's so important about the deal that the entire government yesterday screeched to a halt?! Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Anyway, I texted my favorite government official yesterday to tell him that apparently he was the only one working among his colleagues yesterday. Sarcastically, he answered, "Bakit kaya?" Hmmm...

But TV or not, it was mighty obvious who among the government officials present were lying through their teeth. Almost everyone there committing perjury. Bilib na sana ako ke Asec. Lorenzo Formoso because he really knew his IT stuff. Then he blinked. And made pa-cute about going to Wack-Wack only for weddings and socials. He said it twice, thrice. Too rehearsed my friend. T'was too obvious. Take a cue from the Superstar Ate Guy...play it down. Underact. Next time you might be believable.

Teves confirms Abalos involvement in ZTE deal. (Photo from PDIC)

The only credible Cabinet Secretary up there was Finance Secretary Gary Teves. I have only utmost respect for this man, and I hope this is not misplaced. But at least he did confirm that Comelec chairman Benjamin Abalos did bring the ZTE officials to his home. E bakit? What's Abalos' business facilitating meetings like that? And then again at Wack-Wack, over dinner with Sec. Mendoza. This was a very important item that today's newspapers overlooked. Even if Abalos says, he just made introductions, it's still inappropriate behavior since the businessmen were proposing a project. It was confirmation that Abalos was involved in the deal from the start. E kung hindi nga ba talaga... Ang tawag d'yan walang finesse. Amateur! Hay naku!

Well, I hope former Neda Sec. Gen. Romy Neri takes the stand next week. He is the only other Cabinet official who was closest to the ZTE issue as his Neda staff was the one which evaluated the NBN project and the proposed ZTE deal. And I've covered Neda. Its staff are one of the best in government. Poorly paid but highly efficient. Guys whose hearts are in the right place. So very objective. I can't vouch though for Neri's credibility. Actually, after Dante Canlas, I think the subsequent Neda Sec. Gens pale in comparison to the previous people who've held that post. Well, poor Romy Neri had the runs...but hasn't he heard of Lomotil? Or apple juice! Ano ba?!

Anyway, as for Luli Arroyo's outburst re: JDV III, pagbigyan nyo na. It's but natural she's protecting her father. Daddy's girl 'yan, anu? Even JDV III is doing the same for his father, Speaker de Venecia. And between us girls, both their dads aren't exactly the paragons of virtue we would all like to emulate right? But family is family and you just have to stick together and overlook certain unpleasant behavior among your relatives. Besides...ang mana! hellow?!

Mr. Arroyo met, did not intimidate Joey de Venecia—lawyer

MANILA, Philippines – Jose Miguel "Mike" Arroyo confirmed through his lawyer on Wednesday that he met Jose "Joey" de Venecia III in a "purely chance encounter" at a golf clubhouse but denied ordering him to "back off" from the national broadband network (NBN) deal.

Jesus Santos, lawyer and spokesperson of the President's husband, said Mr. Arroyo did meet De Venecia III in mid-March but his version of the story differed greatly from that of Speaker Jose de Venecia, Jr.'s son.

For one, Arroyo denied berating de Venecia and ordering him to pull out of the national broadband deal in favor of the eventual winner, China’s ZTE Corp., allegedly upon brokering by Commission on Elections Chair Benjamin Abalos Sr. (More at Inquirer. Photo from AP/BBC)

A tangled web of lies you weave, First Gentleman. And I suppose there were waiters around who could corroborate your statement? Ang tagal nyo na nga pinag-isipan, ang tanga pa din ng sagot nyo?! Gee, Homer is that you?

Monique Lhullier at Fashion Week

ANOTHER feather on the cap of our kababayan Monique Lhuillier. These clothes are soooo fab! I wish I could wear them (or afford them)...rats!

Kala nyo sa 'Pinas lang me pedicab ha?

Hmmm...maybe we should retool our pedicabs here too and make them tourist friendly? Just keep 'em off the main roads though 'cos they do cause bedlam. Anyway check out this report from Reuters.



Sept. 13 (Reuters) - Bicycle taxis are both a hit and a danger on the streets of London.

A Polish rickshaw company is experiencing massive success in the controversial market in the UK.

Bicycle taxis are loved by tourists, loathed by cab drivers and a regular defendant in court cases seeking greater regulation of the industry.

Karina Lavik reports.

It stinks!

Commission on Elections chairman Benjamin Abalos Sr. is accused of brokering the deal between the DOTC and ZTE for the government's national broadband network project. (Photo from Wikepedia)

THAT'S what I think of the ZTE deal. It's not that ZTE isn't a reputable company, because it is. It is one of the fastest growing firms in China and its leadership in the telecommunications arena in those parts are well known. Heck, my own Internet box is a ZTE so I know it is a real company that does business and not just some fly-by-night operation.

But the way by which the contract (is it really missing or is someone just trying to hide it?) or the deal has been made is all too suspicious. First of all, do we need a national broadband network? Issues have been raised for and against the establishment of one. I don't exactly understand the point of the government in building an NBN since the country is already wired by private companies. Why is government sticking its nose in what is basically, a private sector acctivity? Now if the government had proposed to Wi-fi the entire country (as what California is trying to do), then I can give this contract a second thought.

Second, why is Comelect Commissioner Benjamin Abalos even involved in this deal? As usual he, like many government oficials before him, lacks delicadeza, and no matter how he explains it away, his involvement is dubious. (Aba, baka ma-Erap din sya!) Btw, what about the talk that Abalos is one government official who can be found anywhere except his office because he holds court at the Wack-Wack Golf & Country Club all the time? Hmmm...

It this ZTE deal another fast one the Arroyo administration is trying to pull on the Filipino people and on investors? First it was the Jancom incinerator deal that President Arroyo tried to approve despite previous presidents not signing the contract. It was a $380 million project that underwent a questionable bidding process and escalated in cost as so many goons started getting into the act and trying to get their kickbacks as well. Which reminds me, wasn't Abalos, as chairman of the MMDA then, also trying to get this Jancom project approved?

Second it was the NAIA Terminal 3 project where Arroyo's henchmen again tried to bilk the project proponents, asking to be paid $300 million so Fraport AG, operator of one of the busiest international airports in the world, would be allowed to manage the new terminal. The government questioned Fraport's partner, Piatco (PairCargo), ability to build the project when it was already 98% complete and ready to open! (I was one of the very first journalists who went inside the terminal and toured it in the month it was supposed to open.) And to think no government money was spent on building the terminal! Btw, the Arroyo government's takeover of the NAIA 3 is the primary reason the Presidentita can never set foot in Germany.

Transportation and Communications Secretary Leandro Mendoza refuses to answer questions on controversial ZTE broadband deal. (Photo from OPS)

And now here comes the ZTE deal where a public bidding was supposedly held, according to DOTC Secretary Leonardo Mendoza, but the contract was awarded to a company where the government would incur a loan from the Chinese government, whereas another proponent, Amsterdam Holdings Inc., had offered to build the NBN at no cost to the government! Hey I'm no fan of Speaker de Venecia and his family either but his son raises very valid points. The bribery allegations are the most damaging to Abalos and with his debatable conduct as Comelec chairman especially during the Garci scandal makes us believe there is something not quite right about him.

For sure, the Arroyo government is just trying play nice to our powerful neighbor to the north. After all, the Philippines can't rely on the US government forever. Its assistance to the Philippines is dwindling and American investors are choosing other Asian countries to sink their monies in. So the Arroyo government is looking to China for more investments, more aid, and tourism business. I don't oppose this tack, but all business contracts with the government must be above-board and open to scrutiny, no matter which country is involved. Instead, all the Arroyo administration has been doing is to stone-wall and try to hide behind the "sub-judice" reason so as not to explain the deal to Congress. These are simple questions that just need simple, direct-to-the point answers. But our esteeemed government officials refuse to answer. How can GMA and her henchmen even expect us, the public, to trust them?

Finding the perfect fit

Something Like Life
BusinessMirror, Sept. 14, 2007

IN my 20 or so years of adult life, I’ve realized that there are some people who do well in relationships, and some people who don’t.

Like me, for instance, I did awfully when I was in relationships. I’m just too much of an individual to ease and subsume my own personal wants and needs to another person’s. I remember getting pissed at something as simple as sharing the TV remote with my significant other of the moment to let him watch his ESPN. (Sure, I was staying over at his place and it was his TV, but didn’t that mean that, as a guest, I was supposed to be given the run of the house because that’s what good hosts are supposed to do? When he was over at my place, he was allowed to do anything! Well, okay, except to put his feet up on the coffee table...and watch ESPN.)

Hmmm...talk about trying to get more guys interested in me. After this, I’d be surprised if anyone would still call!

Then, there are some people who find it much easier to meet their beloved, and there are those who sweat it over a few forgettable years (or decades!) trying to find at least someone interesting to know.

My two nieces, for example, are as different as night and day when it comes to relationships. The elder one, now 26, has yet to find real romance with a representative of the male species—you know, a boyfriend? She likes certain men but they’re just interested in her friendship, while those who really like her don’t interest her. It’s crazy I know, but we’ve all been in that situation.

Her sister, on the other hand, just turned 21, has already had three serious relationships with boys that I know of, this while still in college. (I realize that “three” could even be a small number considering this day and age.) By “serious” I just mean there was a meeting of the minds to be mutually exclusive to each other, but not necessarily heading for the altar. It is just so easy for her to meet boys she is attracted to and who feel the same for her.

Then there are those who spend decades looking for the “right” person, our “soul mate,” or one’s “perfect match,” while others seem to have it so easy. They meet, they go on a few dates, they fall in love, and then decide to marry and have kids. And all that even before reaching 25!

Even the statistics bear this out. According to the 2003 data from the National Statistics Office, about 38 percent of married women were between the ages of 20 and 24, the largest among age groups surveyed. This was followed by married women between 25 and 29 who accounted for 25.7 percent of the married couples surveyed.

Then, there are those who just thrive and improve as a person when coupled with someone, while others miserably fail as an individual.

A friend’s cousin, for instance, always sounded boring (and bored) and was rarely an interesting person to talk to. I’d always bump into her during my friend’s birthday parties and aside from the usual hellos, she pretty much kept to herself. She always seemed to have the weight of the world on her shoulders as she was so superserious, it made the term “humorless” actually funny.

And yet after she found a husband (don’t even ask me how that happened!) and then had a baby, she just suddenly blossomed. Last time I saw her, she looked and sounded happier, with her world now revolving around her little family. She was more animated and constantly chattered about what new thing her baby did that day. (Which makes me suspect that she was probably quiet when she was single maybe because she really didn’t have anything to make kwento. There wasn’t much happening in her life to begin with, you know?)

In contrast, I’ve known quite a few people who are just miserable as a wife or a girlfriend and yet choose to stay in the relationship. They’re constantly held back by their men, given all these strict rules to follow (like, one friend said she had a boyfriend who always forbade her to wear skirts), and yet they still cling on in the feeble hope that their man would change and give them a break. I remember being told, for example, that this nice celebrity socialite became a cokehead basically because her partner was her supplier. (Well, at least she can’t complain that they don’t do things together.)

Like looking for the perfect pair of shoes, finding the right relationship will sometimes take more than just one afternoon at the mall. The pair not only has to look fabulous, but feel comfortable as well.

So it has to be with our search for the right partner and the right relationship. It may take a lot of fittings, er dates, to find out if he’s the right one, perhaps several romances more to find the one who is most suitable to us. It can be tiring, yes, and many of us either quit looking, or just settle for certain qualities in a relationship or in a man instead of trying to find the one with the complete package.

One woman actually told me that while she didn’t really love her husband, she knew he loved her immensely. Coupled with the financial security he offered, it made perfect sense to her to settle down with him. She was 26 then, and during her time she was no longer considered a spring chicken. There was immense pressure for women in her generation to settle down. With her four kids now grown, and a grandchild whom she loves dearly, she says she’s in a “good place.” But she admitted to a few affairs all throughout her marriage. One relationship just so consumed her, she said, but she didn’t want to break up her family.

But sucker that I am for the quintessential romance, true love and all that crap, I think that maybe we shouldn’t compromise our idea of what a great relationship is; otherwise, like so many women, we will end up with killer stilettos which look gorgeous, yes, but will cripple our feet. When we compromise the ideal, we will keep meeting those men who may look like a potential life partner but, for some reason, we just can’t feel totally sold. There’s always something just not right.

Like a great pair of shoes, a relationship has got to be the right perfect fit. No excuses.

(My column, Something Like Life, is published every Friday in the Life section of the BusinessMirror. Photos from BusinessMirror)

Bushisms

IN case you missed it, here's a Reuters video on US President George Bush's gaffes at the APEC summit in Sydney last week. Ahh, to have a cartoon character as head of state...some countries are just too lucky!



Sep. 7 (Reuters) - U.S. President George W. Bush makes light of his slips of the tongue, during an APEC address.

U.S President George W. Bush, renowned for his mispronunciation of words during his speeches, once again made audiences laugh during his address to the business summit of the Asia-Pacific Economic Co-operation (APEC) forum in Australia.

Within the first seconds of his speech, Bush referred to the gathering as the OPEC summit, the acronym for the Organisation of the Petroleum Exporting Countries and then quickly rectified it to APEC, causing the gathering to erupt into laughter.

He later referred to Australia as Austria, but failed to pick up on it or rephrase the comment.

Throughout the rest of his speech he mispronounced several words, including Australia's capital Canberra, Kuala Lumpur and Jemaah Islamiyah.

And as if things weren't bad enough, when he had concluded his addresses, he made his way to the wrong exit, prompting Australian Prime Minister John Howard to make finger gestures at him, to show him the right way off the stage.

The Estrada verdict

THE guilty verdict handed by the Sandiganbayan on plunder charges against former Philippine president Joseph "Erap" Estrada felt almost anti-climactic. Like many others, I too expected the verdict, especially with the overwhelming documentary evidence and eyewitness accounts like those of former EPCI banker Clarissa Ocampo, showing who was the true owner of the Jose Velarde account.

In the same manner that we expected the guilty verdict, we should also expect a presidential pardon. Not right now, because that would only raise the hackles of many civil society groups and interested parties, but perhaps in the near future. (I, for one, am not opposed to a pardon.)

There are two possible scenarios I could think of. Maybe the pardon can be handed down before the Presidentita GMA steps down. By then, we would probably be too wrapped anyway in electing a new set of monkeys into office, we would be busy to even notice it. And I still think that despite what she projects to be, the Presidentita wants to go down in history books as someone who was still compassionate and understanding. (Who knows, she could also be setting a precedent in case someone files a graft case against her and her family.)

Or she could probably endorse the presidential pardon to the next President, who will probably come from the Opposition camp anyway. (Hmmm...let's see...Manny Villar? Mar Roxas? or ick, Loren Legarda?) Anyway, memories of Filipinos are short, and we are generally a forgiving lot.

Whoever the next President will be can only look to the US as guidance. In 1974, then US President Gerald Ford pardoned Richard Nixon for his misconduct surrounding the Watergate scandal, except that Ford did so before Nixon's case even went to trial. It was a controversial decision but Ford made a compelling and sympathetic argument, which Americans eventually were able to live with. (Read Ford's explanation here.)

A presidential pardon in Erap's case could work too except that I doubt that he could reinvent himself the way Nixon did, who went on to become a prolific author, speaker, and well-respected elder stateman. Maybe Erap could resurrect his film career and make a movie based on his trial or have someone ghostwrite his memoirs. A few chapters devoted to his paramours would make the book an instant best-seller.

Seriously, this country needs closure in the political arena. There are just so many issues still hanging out there that are keeping us as a nation from moving forward, e.g. the Ninoy Aquino murder, the Marcos millions, the Hello Garci scandal. (It's a good thing that Marcos has finally been buried because that too, was one closure we needed.) The guilty verdict on Erap and a subsequent pardon could be the start of a turnaround for us.

More on Pavarotti

A reader sent this in. Thanks Anonymous. It was a great performance by two legends in the music world.



Isa pa! Not as fab as the jam with James Brown but I just luuuuv Barry White's coat! Panalo! And notice his black hanky (as opposed to Pavarotti's white hanky staple). Hmmm...parang namamaga ang face ni Barry anu?

Ok, so I couldn't resist writing about it either...

Something Like Life
Sept. 7, 2007

BY now, I’m pretty sure all of you have the Malu Fernandez topic coming out of your mouths and ears. Don’t worry, I’m not going to add any more fuel to the fire and endorse any sort of “harpooning” of Ms. Fernandez, even if she did unwittingly ruffle the feathers of close to half of the population of the Philippines and their hundreds of relatives abroad. (Yes, I still give Ms. Fernandez the benefit of the doubt because I think no one in his right mind would deliberately insult another human being in print unless he is begging for a libel case. Of course, if she was channeling shock jock Howard Stern, then what she did was unforgivable.)

What I do want to address, however, are the realities of an overseas Filipino worker’s life, because once upon a time I was one of them, although my colleague Marvic and I would jokingly dub ourselves “expats.” Although I hardly contributed in boosting the country’s gross international reserves because I rarely remitted any monies to my parents here (honey, I needed it more than them), I only had to look at my colleagues and hear their sob stories to realize the difficulties of leaving one’s home and family to try to carve out a bright future they don’t think would ever have in the Philippines.

The opportunity to work in Saipan (the capital of the Northern Marianas, a tiny group of islands south of Guam) came up because of Marvic, who recommended me to her publisher. I was to be business editor of a daily newspaper (actually a community paper by our standards, where a victim of a hit and run could be the day’s biggest headline), and while the job did pay a lot more than I was receiving in my former paper back then, the attraction to me was actually the opportunity to live in another country and mingle with other nationalities. I also thought that Saipan being a mere three hours away from Manila, it wouldn’t make me so homesick, unlike the situation with OFWs who live in the Middle East, Europe or the US. I could always easily come home to Manila even for a weekend. So, actually, I was not your typical expat...er, OFW desperate to earn a higher wage to feed my entire family back home.

The first shock of any OFW upon landing in his new host country is always cultural. There are just too many new ways of behaving and thinking that our kababayans have to get used to. First of all, in a US-style country like the Northern Marianas, you had to follow the traffic rules. No tail-gating, no overtaking, no weaving in and out of traffic.

And while I could get away with wearing Bermuda shorts and a T-shirt to Sunday Mass once in a while, the Chamorros (the locals who live on Saipan) actually encourage churchgoers to don proper church attire, i.e., a modest clothes which do not show off one’s legs, bare arms, or cleavage. I also realized that Filipinos were more Western in thinking than the locals, as I would get flak for being outspoken and frank in discussing issues (although the mainland Americans living on Saipan appreciated the banter). Still, the Chamorros are a generous lot and will always invite anyone to their parties and fiestas, and basically share the good times, which is a trait they share with us Filipinos.

But more than the culture and traditions, I think the biggest shock for most OFWs is the realization that being away from their families means a lot of heartaches. I remember a young colleague, J, who I would always notice to be crying after every phone call with her mother. She told me her mother would always berate her for sending “so little” money for the family’s needs. (She was sending half of her monthly $700 salary, and her mother still thought this was still not enough?! That was close to P18,000 back then!) J was not even the eldest in the family but her mother was now relying on her daughter’s earnings for the family’s needs. J said she had, in fact, other siblings, none of whom were apparently working, and her parents were out of work as well.

As I began speaking to other colleagues and other kababayans over the year I was in Saipan, I realized that quite a number of them had relatives who became virtual mendicants, stopping work and just waiting for the usual monthly remittance. Like J, my heart bled for them because there they were working their asses off under a foreign boss who treated them sometimes rather poorly, and yet their difficulties were not even close to being appreciated by their families back home. Parents didn’t call their OFW children to ask how they were, but rather to ask when their next remittance would arrive. Children didn’t bother to write to their hardworking parents, or send them a card to say how much they were missed, but rather to make sure they were sent the newest PlayStation for their birthdays. I could only nod in understanding when an Ate started narrating her life’s travails.

And for all the “huge” salaries these fellow kababayans are supposed to be earning, their families don’t realize that they are also spending quite a tidy sum living in the host country. Sure, these OFWs are earning in dollars, but they are spending in dollars as well. An example: in Saipan, a Jollibee yumburger with cheese costs about $2 (almost P100 then), when it’s about P40 only here. The horror! A decent restaurant meal for one person, for example, would cost about $12 (P600) when here, the same could be had for probably P300 or less.

Aside from the food, there is also rent to pay (I used to pay about $400, or P20,000, a month for a one-bedroom apartment) and utilities ($150, or P7,500, a month) and clothes. By the end of the month, and after deducting all these “costs of living,” as well as half their salaries for the usual remittance to their families back home, my Ates and Kuyas were left with zilch. It is no wonder a number of them return home almost centavo-less and with very little savings to speak of. We Filipinos are so family-oriented, we rarely deny any requests from our relatives, even though we are already hard-up ourselves.

Some of them also told me that all the while they had been sending money to their spouses back home to put up a little sari-sari store, set up a carinderia, or make some home improvements, they find out that the money had all been spent by their spouses who have become prime candidates for Gamblers Anonymous.

Other than the financial issues, there are social issues that our kababayans have to contend with. A lot of my colleagues, pining away for their spouses or fiancées back home, have affairs with their co-workers. A number of them actually shack up with new lovers even if they have wives or husbands here and 10 children. Kuya D, for example, was already hard-pressed as it is to send money to his wife and children back home, but then he still managed to create a new family in Saipan (a lovely wife and two rambunctious boys). I don’t blame him. It can really get lonely overseas—none of the 120 channels on cable TV nor a thousand bars can ever ease that feeling. (On Saipan the six bars or so close at 10 pm…no wonder I was hardly inebriated while I was there.) On the other hand, if it wasn’t my Ate or Kuya playing around, it would be their spouses here at home doing the nasty.

So every time I would hear these stories from our kababayans, I would get depressed about their ordeal (which, by the way, actually starts at the hellish and very long queues at the POEA), only slowly to be enraged at our government which does very little in boosting economic opportunities here at home. Instead, it chooses to look for more ways to export our precious human capital to other countries, thus helping the latter to prosper. And while the government trumpets the 7.5-percent growth in the economy, I can only wonder if it is worth all the punishing choices our kababayan abroad have to make.

These are just some of the real issues plaguing our OFWs. So even if our kababayans choose to submerge themselves in a vat of Charlie, the incredible sacrifices they have to endure in the name of family and a better future are nothing to be sniffed at.

(My column, Something Like Life, is published every Friday in the Life section of the BusinessMirror. Photo courtesy BusinessMirror)

Luciano Pavarotti dead at 71

IF our parents had their Enrico Caruso, we had our Luciano Pavarotti.

This gifted Italian, with a voice that could make anyone weep from its pure beauty has passed away, but his contributions to the world of opera will be fondly remembered. No other tenor nor any classical singer other than Pavarotti was able to make opera accessible to the masses, paving the way for a lot of younger artists like Andrea Bocelli, Russell Watson, Josh Groban, Alessandro Safina, even Il Divo to be successful in their efforts to cross opera with popular music, and creating a whole new music genre. (Imagine a classical artist such as Pavarotti collaborating with U2's Bono and Sting on songs and music projects. What horror it must have been for classical music purists everywhere! Hahaha!)

I, for one, immensely enjoyed the Three Tenors in Concert series where Pavarotti had teamed up with the great voices of Placido Domingo and Jose Carreras. They sang not only opera but Broadway songs and pop music as well. This showed the audience that these three, were not buttonholed, constricted artists. Their first concert, at the Caracalla Ruins in Rome, with music conducted by the equally celebrated Zubin Mehta, is one of my favorite performances ever, both on CD and on DVD.

When Pavarotti came to Manila in 11994, I remember my friends and I camping out on the grounds of the PICC where he was supposed to perform, within view of the huge jumbotronic projector TV that had been set up for those who couldn't afford to pay for the P5,000 a pop tickets. Alas, Pavarotti canceled that night – I later learned his throat hurt from all the mangoes he reportedly had eaten – and we failed to experience what could have been a most historic musical moment in our young lives. Too bad we could no longer return the next night for the Master's concert. (According to a PR practitioner who was working then at the Philippine Plaza, they had to feed lots of people that night, the hotel comping the meals, just to assuage the ticket holders' irritation at the postponed concert.)

Pavarotti, with his "High C's" and love of life will be missed. In his honor, I am temporarily switching my blog's theme music to opera. Below is a performance by the Master of Nessun Dorma, one of the songs he has come to be identified with.



ITALIAN
Nessun dorma! Nessun dorma!
Tu pure, o, Principessa,
nella tua fredda stanza,
guardi le stelle
che fremono d'amore
e di speranza.

Ma il mio mistero e chiuso in me,
il nome mio nessun sapra!
No, no, sulla tua bocca lo diro
quando la luce splendera!

Ed il mio bacio sciogliera il silenzio
che ti fa mia!

(Il nome suo nessun sapra!...
e noi dovrem, ahime, morir!)

Dilegua, o notte!
Tramontate, stelle!
Tramontate, stelle!
All'alba vincero!
vincero, vincero!


ENGLISH
None must sleep! None must sleep!
And you, too, Princess,
in your cold room,
gaze at the stars
which tremble with love
and hope!

But my mystery is locked within me,
no-one shall know my name!
No, no, I shall say it as my mouth
meets yours when the dawn is breaking!

And my kiss will break the silence
which makes you mine!

(No-one shall know his name,
and we, alas, shall die!)

Vanish, o night!
Fade, stars!
At dawn I shall win!

An end to wakes, finally

IT seems in the past two years, I have not been doing anything except going to wakes and attending funerals of friends and relatives. My own father passed away recently. I felt so horrible about it that I refused to go to any more services...I just felt like death was hounding me at every turn. It was depressing.

Last month, however, it seemed that things were turning up for me. For a change, I was invited to two baptismal ceremonies/receptions. What a relief! It was like a rush of fresh clean air that had blown my way...and I'm glad. What a joy to see bouncing babies and their cherubic smiles. Such angels! Yes, there is an end to grief and sadness. New life heralds new hope and a future filled with all the possibilities one can imagine.

So happy christening Baby Matthew, and my new inaanak Baby Araw! The world awaits the amazing things you will be doing.

September na!

AND you know what that means...Christmas is upon us! But is there anything really to be excited about the Yuletide season? But of course there is. Call me a nut job but I enjoy the Christmas holidays for the family reunions, the endless joyful eating, the giving of gifts, and sharing of hearts. Hopefully, there will be more love and peace to go around this year.

So bring out your pen and paper and start making your shopping list. I'm starting the Christmas countdown today – see the counter on the left. (Tip: Do your Christmas shopping early while most department stores are on sale. It will save you a bundle!)

And why not do something different this year? Instead of just emailing your Christmas greetings to your friends and relatives in the provinces or abroad, why not send them an honest to goodness Christmas card for a change? It will mean more to them that you took the time out to write down your thoughts and wishes for them instead of sending a pre-written email greeting via Internet. So avoid the rush at the post office...mail those Yuletide cards early!

Getting away from it all

(Staying at Discovery Shores in Boracay was a different kind of experience altogether. More on that in a future blog entry.)

Something Like Life
Aug. 31, 2007

GOING on an extended vacation, where you just want to be by yourself, away from all the pressures of city living and demands on your time, isn’t as simple as it used to be anymore.

After going through some unfortunate family events in the past few months, I thought it was time for me to take a break, at least two weeks, to get my head together and revive my spirit. This would only be the second time in my entire adult life that I would take off all by myself and try to relax solo.

At the onset, it was difficult to explain to my usual travel buddies why I wasn’t inviting them along on my holiday. Of course, there was also the mother creature whom I had to persuade to live with my sister and her family during the time I would be away so she wouldn’t have to be all alone at home. I was just in dire need of some alone time.

Then, there was the packing. I realize that as one gets older and becomes a creature of habit, there are just certain items that one can’t live without. First of all there was the matter of what toiletries to bring.

When I was in my 20s, I was quite content with just a small bag of toiletries containing my toothbrush and toothpaste, deodorant, lotion, cologne, baby powder, foundation, eyeliner and lipstick. On this last trip, I had to bring two kikay kits along—one for my toiletries, which now included age-defying creams (for daytime and nighttime), and another for all my makeup (eyeshadow, mascara, lash curler, blush, brushes, lipliner, lipsticks and lipgloss).

(The main pool at Shangri-La Mactan, Cebu. Heaven!)

Even what resort wear to bring has become a tad complicated. I never ever packed jeans while on vacation, as I was quite content living in my shorts and T-shirts every day, whether at the beach or in any resort. But now I found myself packing a pair of jeans, black capri pants and a few light long-sleeved tops for cocktails I needed to attend at a resort. And, no, the sarong over the bathing suit just doesn’t work anymore...I had to have my lounging tunics as well.

Whereas before I used only one purse which took me from day to night, nowadays I would bring three different bags of varying sizes. One is a casual bag small enough to put in my wallet, two cell phones and a lipstick for that quick trip to D’Mall or some café; a medium-sized bag made of banig to bring to the beach or the pool, carrying—besides those items mentioned previously—sunblock for my face, sunblock for my body, a book and a magazine, and a bottle of water; and, last, a large foldable all-purpose bag to accommodate all other items that I expect would no longer fit in my luggage on my way back from vacation. (We girls always end up with more stuff than what we had originally brought for our holiday, don’t we?)

Truth to tell, I was even going to bring my iBook because I had never taken a leave from work that long. (The last time I did, laptops had yet to be in vogue.) I thought I might get some writing done while I was away. But then I had already locked myself in my home office for three days straight before my vacation, just finishing my assignments and advancing stories for my editor abroad. All that work would have been all for nought. I had to draw the line and do a mental check, convincing myself that I could live without my iBook for the duration of my holiday. I was only supposed to read a book or two, lounge by the pool or beach, and eat without guilt. So I unpacked the iBook and banished it to my cabinet.

Still, as I was about to begin my vacation to Cebu and Boracay, I found myself at the airport trying to stand upright as I struggled with my mid-sized luggage on wheels, a backpack and a purse! Ack!

In Cebu the sun was out and the heat was on, tricking my brain into thinking it was still summer. My hotel room overlooked the ocean and the inviting pool below, which I thought I would be enjoying for next few days. After a quick merienda, I took a leisurely walk around the hotel’s splendidly manicured grounds and made a quick tour of the hotel spa, and was calmed by the wonderful scents permeating throughout. Off I was dreaming of my own day of wellness.

(Tourists watch a local para-wakeboarding – not quite sure if that's the right term for the sport – in Boracay.)

With the constant breeze from the ocean cooling me, and the relative quiet of the surroundings, I was lulled into thinking that I was in for two weeks of relaxation...until someone mentioned that I had narrowly missed a typhoon which by then had been battering Metro Manila, plunging it into a flooded mess. The comment threw me off-track and quickly put me on my “city” mode. For the next two hours, I was glued to the TV set in my room watching ANC for more news of the typhoon.

I then made the mistake of checking my cell phone, which I had put on silent mode supposedly in keeping with my vacation. But there was a text from a friend back in Manila asking me how the weather was in Cebu. He added that it was flooding everywhere in the metropolis and the rains were just pouring unabated. That did it! I had to once more check myself and mentally struggled to shift back to “relaxation” gear once more. So I hurriedly changed into my bathing suit and went for a few laps in the pool that had beckoned to me only the day before.

I managed to catch a few winks as well in between my magazine reading, then it was time for lunch. But then, I foolishly passed the business center on the way back to my room. The next few minutes caught me plunked down on my sofa reading the Asian Wall Street Journal’s analysis of the subprime credit mess in the US. Oh, good grief!

Over the next few days, I was lounging at the pool—and hanging out at the business center, watching the TV news (this time, CNN as well), reading the AWSJ and, ultimately, succumbing to checking my e-mail on my cell phone, even as I continued to myself that I had switched on the vacation response option on all my e-mail servers.

I thought things would be different when I landed in Boracay. But as soon as I had lunch and had leisurely eaten my favorite dessert of lemon tart and coffee, I was off looking for an Internet café. After two hours, I had already read all my e-mails, chatted via YM with some friends back in Manila, and updated my news blog (http://sludge.wordpress.com). Arrgh!

That being said, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful for this spot of “me” time. And, of course, there were a few days when the endorphins and dopamines kept me happy and calm, especially after a few visits to the spa and some delicious meals with my favorite reds. I was also able to sleep soundly throughout the night, waking up feeling quite refreshed. I also have a slight tan and my slowly fading dyed hair to prove I had been using the pool and the beach and not simply parading my bathing suits. But I was foolish to think that in this day and age, I could still get away from everything that would remind me of my frenetic life back in Manila.

Vacations are no longer as easy as leaving your watch in your hotel room or switching off your cell phone. As we get older, the packing becomes a bitch. Gone are the days when my vacation consisted of a few clothes and my toothbrush and toothpaste in a small backpack. (On my way back to Manila, it became the luggage on wheels, backpack, the large now-unfolded all-purpose bag, as well as a box of sweet treats from Boracay. Oh, brother!) And as technology pervades every corner of our lives, we will never again be so isolated and alone no matter how far away from Manila we go. All hotel rooms now have TV, our cell phones are always within range of cell sites, and even if we don’t bring our laptops, there are Internet cafés everywhere to pander to our Web surfing habit.

Now, did someone mention Bhutan?

(My column, Something Like Life, is published every Friday in the Life section of the BusinessMirror. All photos by the author.)

Tough choice for women

THIS issue is overwhelming. But it is something to think about especially now that more people are getting involved in environmental issues and are on their own, starting to take the necessary steps to heal Mother Earth.

Sanitary pads: A feminine challenge
BY ISA LORENZO, Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism

THEY COME with or without wings, ultra-thin or maxi, regular, extra long, or g-string. One can also have them unscented, but some brands tout scents like lavender and baby powder. There are sanitary napkins with green tea, while others boast of additives such as aloe vera and vitamin E. Recently, a Chinese company launched a sanitary pad that it says contains anions, which purportedly decrease bacteria and even gradually eliminate dysmenorrhea.

Modern sanitary napkins have come a long way since the days when women would try to contain their monthly flow with thick pads of cloth. Yet for all the innovations manufacturers of sanitary napkins have come up with to ease women’s discomfort during "those days" of the month, they seem to be stumped by this challenge: producing a practical yet eco-friendly sanitary pad.

Environmental groups like Bangon Kalikasan Movement (BKM) say the mountains of trash in dumpsites like Payatas in Quezon City contain a very hefty share of soiled baby diapers and used sanitary napkins. The trash in Payatas has piled up to a towering 50 feet, equivalent to five stories. Seven years ago, a thousand people were killed when the trash came tumbling down on scavengers and those living in huts near the steaming mounds of garbage.

(For the rest of the piece, click Tough choice.)

The alternatives to what are being currently practiced may be impractical for most, but are clearly safer for the environment. Despite my being a staunch environmentalist, I must admit, I find it difficult to choose Mother Earth over practicality, reliability, convenience in this case. I'm at a loss on this one.

From 'Malou' Fernandez

‘DEAR Malu,

Sorry for taking the liberty to write you even though we’ve never met each other, or calling you by your first name. I just got accidentally caught up in your story because I, my relatives and colleagues at work had been getting inquiries, at the peak of the blogosphere obsession with your article on OFWs, on whether the editor in chief of BusinessMirror had written an article for People Asia or MST, or whether we were related. I blame the first query on some lazy PRs who, through the years, never bothered to find out my real nickname or presumed that my Christian name bore a “Maria” just because it’s Lourdes and therefore, called me occasionally “Malou Fernandez.”

That’s how I got curious about who you are and why they’re saying all those things about you. To be honest, I was shocked and upset like all the rest. But now, with the benefit of hindsight, and seeing how the OFWs are perfectly capable of defending themselves, my anger has turned to regret. Honest. I feel sorry that in one short plane trip you had ruined your ties with our kababayan. I regret that you didn’t have the chance to really know them through the years. But maybe there’s still time to make up.

After three decades in this work, I have met and written about Filipino workers in dozens of strange lands and how they’ve coped—some fail to, unfortunately—and how most of them are so prized in their host country I’ve come away each time feeling proud about being a Filipino.

After three decades in this work, I have met and written about Filipino workers in dozens of strange lands and how they’ve coped—some fail to, unfortunately—and how most of them are so prized in their host country I’ve come away each time feeling proud about being a Filipino.

I used to think, like most young people, especially journalists, that the ultimate high of traveling was in seeing up close all those postcard-pretty pictures one just read about in books or brochures. Always, on entering new territory, one’s heart would skip a beat, at that magical experience of “entering” a postcard, almost like Harry Potter when he first melted into the train station walls on his first trip to Hogwarts.

But many years and countless stories later, it’s really those encounters with OFWs—mostly by chance in the course of coverage or sightseeing—that have shaped the way I now look at and remember places.

Among the millions of Filipinos who have lived and worked in Saudi Arabia, I remember most the Filipino waiters at Riyadh Sheraton. Like most OFWs, they showed genuine happiness at seeing a group of kababayan in their hotel, and would find ingenious ways of being assigned to our table to make small talk. Most were Campampangan and had gone to Saudi to help families ravaged by lahar. There was a running joke with our group of newsmen that one of us had a birthday every day, so one fine day we got a surprise. As I stepped onto the lobby one afternoon, one waiter signaled to me to go over to the ground-floor restaurant. He then asked me to call my friends. As we sat down, another waiter who was supposed to be off came out, bearing a platter of maja blanca and palitaw. He smiled as he put it down, and explained that as it was his day off, he made some afternoon snacks for us, saying the native kakain go well with Arabic tea. Then he said he overheard us talking about how we liked palitaw.

As we left that day, they told us to advise them if there was something we wanted which they could cook in their free time. Between the food cooked by Filipinos and the stories shared in that fortnight, truly, we had a feast.

At one time in that fortnight, I was supposed to interview some people at the embassy but got caught up in another event. I didn’t know how to get to the embassy by taxi, so one Filipino IT guy I interviewed earlier offered to accompany me, but the hotel doorman advised me to be sure I had my abaya on, and to sit at the back and try to keep low-key. That got me worried, so I told the IT guy, hey, I know that even if you’re seated in front of the cab we could get in trouble if we get flagged down, so maybe I’ll just risk going there alone. I’m a foreign journalist, maybe I’ll just get deported, but you could get jailed. He brushed it off, and muttered something like he hoped his employer would bail him out of any trouble; or, he’s sure his employer would pull strings for him. I found out later the whiz kid had a sensitive position handling the computer networks of a very big bank in Saudi—imagine, I told myself, how can they dispense with someone like that—and risk having computers breaking down and their princely bank accounts getting stuck?

Still in the Middle East, two young, pretty Filipinas at the Dubai airport duty-free shop melted my heart once. We had about 15 minutes before boarding time en route home and, as a habit, I counted my remaining local currency, with plans of using this to buy pasalubong. I miscalculated. Because I bought a newspaper and several other items first, the money left for chocolates was off by several dirhams, so I asked if they’d accept US dollars. They said they’re not supposed to. She said they’d punched in the items and it’s okay, they’ll wait for me to come back because there is a money changer several meters away. Okay, I said, and ran, but the money-changer shop was closed that time, so I asked around. There was another one, much farther. I ran again, but the lines at the second one were long. I ran back to the two Pinays at the duty-free shop and said, I’m sorry, I’ll just offload the chocolates if you can’t take my dollars.

(Filipina domestic helpers at Statue Square, Central, Hong Kong - a favorite rendezvous on Sundays. Photo from Answers.com)

Both women simultaneously grabbed the chocolate and pressed it toward me. The second one dipped into her pocket and said don’t worry, she’ll pay for the balance. She said they couldn’t take my dollar bill because it was too big, the equivalent of what’s lacking with my dirhams was just about $3. “But I can’t take your money,” I protested. They smiled, and one asked, “You’re giving them to your children? No, nephews and nieces,” I replied. “Well then, please tell them the chocolates are from their titas in Dubai,” and flashed a smile. Just then there was an announcement of boarding time and they motioned me to hurry on. I left, overcome with gratitude but also shame. Luckily, a journalist friend passed by, also on her way to the boarding gate, so I asked if she had small dollar bills. Luckily, she had, so I borrowed $3 and ran back to the Pinays at the duty-free shop and plunked down the bills. They were surprised and refused at first to get it, but I insisted. I never imagined how even ordinary OFWs can be as gracious as these two.

One Mideast country I wanted, but failed to visit, is Israel. The late Philippine ambassador there, the former journalist Antonio C. Modena, used to tell us how organized the Filipino workers there are. One time there was an explosion in a busy public market, so I texted Tony for details, hoping to include a few paragraphs into the paper’s edition. He said he’d text back, and did so, after just 20 minutes. No Filipinos had died, he said, but one Pinay was slightly injured. They’re still tracking one more who was supposed to be in that area as well. I asked, how come you can get these details so quickly? Modena explained that the OFWs there are well-organized and have formed, with the embassy’s urging, a buddy system for verifying and monitoring each other. One OFW is supposed to check on the others in a certain district, all through the wonders of SMS.

Organized, intelligent, caring—that’s how Tony Modena described the OFWs he loved to serve. They’ll do you proud on any given day, he’d often say. He would have been proud to know Arlene (not her real name), a Filipino honor graduate of mechanical engineering, who, in four years, had been pirated by two multinational carmarkers in Japan.

I met her over dinner hosted by an elderly NGO leader in Hiroshima, and the two women kept laughing over a private joke, which I couldn’t help but pry open. Turns out that each time they meet, the Japanese lady would ask Arlene, “what club are you working in this time?” and Arlene would mention some club’s name at random, and they’d laugh together. Turns out that in her first months in Japan, Arlene always had an argument with taxi drivers, who’d ask her each time she rode a cab, “to what club?” When she’d say, “No, I don’t work in a club, I’m an engineer,” the taxi driver would chuckle and mutter what must surely be the Japanese equivalent of “Sure, tell me about it.”

It must have been strange for taxi drivers, this notion of a young Filipino engineer—a woman at that—working for a giant car manufacturer. When Arlene asked her NGO friend how to bridge that cultural abyss, the old lady good-naturedly advised her, so as to spare herself any aggravations even before she had started the day’s work, to “just name any club. Invent a name. Then they’ll shut up. Tell them the truth and they’d never believe you and you’ll end up arguing.”

Thus did it become the two women’s private joke for years. So, somewhere out there, a brilliant Filipina designs cars for THE world’s most popular carmakers, but goes to work each day pretending she works at a Japanese club—and is so self-assured she no longer feels insulted at the thought.

Arlene told me she didn’t really feel insulted because all of the Filipino entertainers she had met are decent and hardworking. And they care for their countrymen. As an aside, Filipinos are also very hygienic. In one quick tour many years ago, I stumbled on three women lugging their laundrybags to shore from a cruise ship, and they volunteered they’d be going to a public washing area “where we can handwash our clothes.” I asked why they weren’t doing their laundry in the ship’s humongous Laundromat, and they squealed, “yuck, and have our clothes mixed with those of the others?” So they went to the trouble of handwashing when the ship makes a port call.

Going back to Japan, Arlene said, you’d never hear stories here of Pinoys turning in fellow Pinoys to immigration if their only crime is overstaying just to have a job, unlike in the US, where such reports abound.

But it’s not just work, work, work for OFWs. Until a few years ago, the Filipinas in Paris who remitted money through PNB would “borrow” a small function room adjacent to the bank every other Friday night and have a typical Filipino sing-along. Some would bring the karaoke, others the food. They’d introduce newcomers to the community and swap stories. They were noisy, but happy. At least you know there won’t be candidates for suicide among the OFWs in the City of Light.

A similar happy disposition prevails among most OFWs in another European country, down south. They don’t call it sunny Spain for nothing, and it’s no exaggeration to say that Filipinos provide the metaphorical sun to their former mother country.

On my first trip there, the OFWs invited me to a modest center recently built with volunteers’ funds. Here they’d interact on weekends or when they’re off duty. The star of the show that Saturday was a very self-effacing Pinay whom everyone was eager to introduce because she brought along her two beautiful children—perfect products of an Asian-Caucasian blend. Turns out her señorito, the Spaniard son of her employers, had fallen in love with and married her. He was there at the center that day, joking and swapping stories with the OFWs. Marimar couldn’t have held a candle to that hardworking Pinay and her Cinderella story.

In other places I had deliberately sought out OFWs each time I’d look for a church for Sunday Mass. Sometimes, you don’t even have to ask them. The foreigners would often advise me to just “follow where they go.”

Some encounters are long, and allow me to mine stories or draw deep insight from kababayan which I’d never get from the intellectual pretenders back home. Other encounters are brief, but enough to warm one’s heart and make one’s day—as that Pinoy couple that once smuggled in their tiny dog in a picnic basket into the Paris commuter train, and spoke to me across the aisle plainly with their eyes, pleading for silence, when they noticed I kept staring at the basket, which was moving.

Sure, Pinoys abroad can be distractingly noisy. Sometimes their perfume can overwhelm one, but hey, we’re just passing through while they have to live and struggle there for years. Maybe the fleeting annoyances are bearable. In the overall equation, they are, like the biblical leaven to the bread, the ones who enrich us—literally but more important, spiritually. When people say nothing enriches a person more than travel, I agree. But only because, in that travel, whether in the oil fields of Nigeria or the deserts of Saudi Arabia, there’s a Filipino out there waiting to reach out to a kababayan.

A pity you missed that experience. But there’s still time to seek them out.

Sincerely,

Lourdes M. Fernandez*

*(Lourdes M. Fernandez, whom friends call 'Chuchay', not Malou/Malu...take note PR guys! is the editor-in-chief of BusinessMirror.)

Can you say dumb blonde?

This is so hilarious folks! This is worse than any Mutya ng Pilipinas contest we've ever had!



Ano daw?

Postscript: from the publisher of People Asia

The Malu Fernandez-OFW controversy

TAKIN’ CARE OF BUSINESS
By BABE ROMUALDEZ

As publisher of People Asia magazine, I had hoped I would not need to make any further comment about our former contributing columnist Malu Fernandez. Because of the “violent” reactions from people concerning the issue – perhaps it is better for me to put the entire issue into the right context. The column which came out in the June issue of the magazine talked about her experience in Boracay and her trip to Greece in a sardonic manner characteristic of Malu Fernandez.

Reactions (via text and email) were sent in by readers, two of which were selected and consequently printed in the August issue of the magazine, along with a note from the editors saying that while they may not agree with what Malu Fernandez had written, they recognize her right to say it. There is a fine print in the magazine’s staff box stating that the opinions and views expressed by writers are their own and not necessarily endorsed by the editors and the management.

The matter would have been settled with the magazine’s publication of those reactions. But unfortunately, Ms. Fernandez wrote a follow-up regarding the issue as well as her response to those who expressed disagreement with the said column in another publication – making it worse since it was written in an arrogant and condescending manner. Even I, together with some readers, felt that she made a mockery of those who did not share or understand her “acerbic” wit and humor.

(Medyo palusot pero pagbigyan na natin...read on at Postscript.)

Alternative realities

I was jolted out of my reverie during my two-week vacation (yes, folks, the reason I haven't updated my blog 'til today) by a friend who was ranting about the supposed insulting piece by yet another society columnist wanna-be, Malu Fernandez, on overseas Filipino workers. Malu Fernandez? Wasn't she a columnist of the Manila Standard Today? I have read her once or twice in the past, forgettable columns, or so I thought, until my friend brought up the society gal's take on OFWs. She said Ms. Fernandez's derogatory column appeared in the June edition of People Asia.

As my friend recounted what Ms. Fernandez had written supposedly about how our Bagong Bayanis smelled, especially after being cooped up in an airplane on a long flight from Dubai to Manila, I recalled having read a similar piece by the same columnist in her home paper. I remember the piece about favorite scents of some people breathing the same rarefied air as Ms. Fernandez, but she had taken off from the same dig at OFWs. (Read it here)

Now I didn't think too much of Ms. Fernandez's column then. I thought it was another feeble attempt at wit by yet another untalented hack. And I thought it was sad that for all the chi-chi-ness she tried to project, she flew economy on an international airline...ay pobrecita! I didn't know she had reprised that same train of thought on OFWs in her People Asia column until a few days ago. So I proceeded to read the piece over the weekend. This time around, the insult was more pointed and obscene. She said she was trying to be funny, but obviously she had failed miserably, not due to the lack of sense of humor on the reader's part, but her obvious lack of writing talent. Her piece had bombed, and she was now reaping the consequences of her poor choice of words and her, well, unfunniness (yes, folks there is such a word). She was blogged to death...the OFW community unleashing their vengeance like a tidal wave, calling for a boycott of both People Asia and MST. I can only say, ang tindi talaga ng Filipino bloggers! Wow!

Last I heard, Ms. Fernandez had submitted her resignation to both People Asia and MST editors. I don't know if this has been accepted. I suppose, in their aim for a wider readership, the editors thought the presence of Ms. Fernandez could help bring class to their publications. Too bad, all they got was poor taste. Well, we all make mistakes. Perhaps the editors of these publications can consider the feelings of our OFWs and let her go.

Ms. Fernandez has apologized (rather belatedly after trying to stand her ground during the first backlash), and as fellow human beings, we can only accept and forgive. Let's stop all this name calling and insulting comments about fat people and pigs, etc. because it's unproductive and you are being just as bigoted as Ms. Fernandez. Don't stoop to her level. Her weight is not the issue, it's her insensitivity and dull writing. (Oops!) Okay, tama na 'yan...let's get on with our lives.

Peace people!

P.S. Stay tuned for my vacation photos, guys!

Diamonds on your eyes, sugar on your lips

Something Like Life
Aug. 10. 2007

TRUE story.

I was walking out of a Makati supermarket in just my shorts, T-shirt and sandals one weekend in the late ’80s, struggling with four heavy bags of groceries on each hand and grappling with my equally heavy shoulder bag. “Walang ka-poise-poise!” as my gays friends would shriek.

To my horror, I saw, approaching the same path I was walking on, my college crush, “C,” this guy who I would just melt at the sight of and absolutely go nuts over whenever he would smile at me or just sit beside me. (He did a couple of TV ads in his day, so you can just imagine the zillions of girls falling at his feet. C was the original crush ng bayan for most of us at the university.)

What was horrifying, however, was because I was wearing my pambahay clothes, I never bothered to wear any makeup. When you’re in your 20s, you think you can get away with anything, like a bare face and wet hair, which, to tell you the truth, is not how my mother raised me. To her, it was always, “Dry your hair and put on your makeup before leaving the house.” And to hell if everybody has to wait for you. Beauty has to come first, and sometimes you have to suffer for it. But then, we always try to ignore our mothers’ sage advice, don’t we?

So it was my mother’s voice I was hearing in my head when I saw C that day, admonishing me in her “I told you so” voice. I knew I looked rather a fright, with no presentable face to speak of, and—for sure—with my hair in knots and flyaways all over the place. We chatted for a few minutes, but out of sheer humiliation, I extricated myself from the conversation with some rather poor excuse just so that I could get away from him fast.

Trust female vanity to make any humiliating event such as the above become a life-changing moment. Since that awfully shameful experience, I have never left the house without any makeup on (well, except on emergencies). Who knows who I would meet by accident next time around, right? An ex-lover or boyfriend, an old boss, or some VIP like the Pope. Even my old friends have learned from my experience and often quote my anecdote to justify why it takes them so long just to put their faces on.

But don’t get me wrong. The experience hasn’t totally turned me into a cosmetics nut. On regular days, I just splash on the sheerest of hues just to give some bit of color to my eyes, cheeks and lips. But even when I’m in a rush, I make sure I have at least some lipstick and gloss on.

However, I do try to be up-to-date with the season’s colors and style trends. I am glued to the TV set once programs on ambush makeovers are on, or when popular makeup artists guest on Oprah’s or Tyra’s show. My favorite episode of Oprah is when her personal makeup artist, Reggie Wells, taught her and a few other women the correct way of putting on makeup. The best tip I got out of the show was that it takes three colors to blend and make the perfect lip color. (I think Reggie Wells is a genius with the way he transforms Oprah into the gorgeous creature that we see on the tube every day.)

So what is it with women and their cosmetics? Most men don’t understand why we go through the whole bit and think that we spend way too much time painting our faces. They try to convince us that all they need is our clean bare faces, but in the next instant, they fall in love with the girl with the perfect sheer foundation and the most gorgeous red lips!

Kidding aside, I think of makeup as an accessory. Just like a watch, jewelry or a leather belt. Makeup is like that special element in your wardrobe that completes your outfit and makes you even look more fabulous than you already are. Don’t you just feel a tad bouncier when you know you have the perfect makeup on? Not too heavy, not too light, but just right to bring out and enhance your features? And it’s the beginning of another perfect day.

So a couple of weeks ago, I attended the launch of Revlon’s Limited Edition Collection for 2007 to check out what’s new in the makeup world. I personally use Revlon, especially its ammonia-free hair dye, which, unlike other hair dyes, does not dry out your mane, nor does it irritate your scalp when applied. I must say, my very first professional makeup kit, a gift from my dear mother, was from Revlon. The long box featured an array of luscious lip colors and a great many palette choices for my eyes and cheeks in varying shades of brown and dark red.

Revlon’s Limited Edition Collection projects elegance and sophistication, with a range of products and colors to suit your every mood. Most are in glossy or pearlized finishes, making your lips shine and your eyes and cheeks glow.

I have just started experimenting on the Molten Metal Liquid Shadow, which is easy to use and dries quickly after you paint it over your eyelids. It can be worn alone or mixed with other colors to create a luminous metallic look.

I also began using the Midnight Swirl Lip Lustre, which doesn’t only look good but smells fabulous as well. It has a soft brush applicator that sensuously delivers the perfect lip look every time.

What I absolutely love is the Golden Affair Sculpting Blush that highlights your cheeks with its gold flecks, with the base color sculpting or contouring the cheekbones. It also comes in a neat package, with the gold flecks tightly packed in a swirl over the main blush color.

And, of course, the Bare It All Lustrous Powder just sets the perfect finish over your makeup, shoulders and décolletage, giving you an overall sexy luminous sheen. No wonder someone said I was “blooming” at a friend’s party the other night, ahem! Maybe blooming isn’t the apropos word; it should’ve been “glowing.”

And you will positively glow with this limited collection. Other products available are the Bare All Lustrous Lotion, the Pinch Me Sheer Gel Blush, Sugar Sugar Lip Topping, Crushed Velvet Lip Crème and—come September—the Diamond Lust Sheer Shadow, Lash Jewel Eye Accent and Just Bitten Lip Stain.

In the ’80s, Revlon started an ad campaign using celebrities like Audrey Hepburn, Liza Minnelli, Brooke Shields, Cindy Crawford, etc., with the slogan “The most unforgettable women use Revlon.” They have since updated this campaign, shortening its slogan into, “Be unforgettable,” and now have as its endorsers Julianne Moore and Halle Berry.

Now, shouldn’t you be one of them?

Kidnapping of Filipinos...the video clip

IN case you haven't seen the clip yet, below is the testimony given by Rory Mayberry, a former employee of First Kuwaiti General Trading & Contracting Co., at the US House of Representatives Oversight Committee hearing on allegations of waste, fraud, and abuse at the new $600-million US Embassy in Iraq. Mayberry alleges that the company kidnapped Filipinos and other Third World nationals to work on the construction project.



For a background on First Kuwaiti and its labor practices, read the story below. It also talks about an earlier group of Filipinos complaining of mistreatment by the company.

BAGHDAD EMBASSY BONANZA
Kuwait Company’s Secret Contract & Low-Wage Labor
by David Phinney, Special to CorpWatch
February 12th, 2006

Work for what is planned to be the largest, most fortified US embassy in the world was quietly awarded last summer to a controversial Kuwait-based construction firm accused of exploiting employees and coercing low-paid laborers to work in war-torn Iraq against their will.

More than a few U.S. contractors competing for the $592-million Baghdad project express bewilderment over why the U.S. State Department gave the work to First Kuwaiti General Trading & Contracting (FKTC). They claim that some competing contractors possessed far stronger experience in such work and that at least one award-winning company offered to perform all but the most classified work for $60 million to $70 million less than FKTC.

“It's stunning what First Kuwaiti has been able to get from the State Department,” one contractor said.

Several other contractors that competed for the embassy contracts shared similar reactions and believe that a high-level decision at the State Department was made to favor a Kuwait-based firm in appreciation for Kuwait's support of the invasion and occupation of Iraq.

“It was political,” said one contractor.

Mohammad I. H. Marafie, chairman and co-owner of FKTC, is a member of one of the most powerful mercantile families in Kuwait.

(Click CorpWatch for the rest of the story.)

How much of the Philippines have you visited?

I just took this neat test at Lakbayan and got a grade of B! (Check out the map in my sidebar.) There is so much to see in this beautiful country of ours...it's worth all the rough roads, messy toilets, and hard to comprehened dialects. But anywhere you go, I can assure you, the people are friendly and helpful. So take out your maps and start exploring!

Yours, mine, ours

Something Like Life
BusinessMirror, Aug. 3, 2007

“All you need is love.” --- Beatles, 1967

WHEN we are young, we often delude ourselves that no problem in the world will ever affect our relationship with our significant other. But once married, and raising a family, financial realities will set in and love sometimes takes a back seat. Couples start thinking of next month’s rent, the utility bill, grocery/food expenses, the kid’s tuition, medical/medicine bill, etc. Unless both of you are independently wealthy, money will be a constant cause of concern and discussion in the family.

In the US financial problems are a leading cause of divorce. Although no comparative surveys are available for the Philippines, it isn’t far-fetched to think that domestic disputes do arise among couples over how family funds are spent by their spouses.

One of the common issues raised by wives against their husbands is the latter’s apparent lack of awareness over the rising prices of groceries. “Doesn’t he know that since his gas expenses rise, the prices of groceries also rise as well?” is a usual complaint I hear.

And while an argument may often revolve around a certain amount spent irresponsibly by the spouse (like, “How can she spend P10,000 on shoes and a party dress?!” as one incredulous husband asked me), the underlying issue is actually about how financial priorities are being handled. Suddenly, hubby comes home with a new car to surprise his wife on their anniversary, even when the family already has two other vehicles. Which is what happened to Sheila, 43. “It would have been better if we just went on vacation instead, just the two of us. It doesn’t matter where, even if it was in Boracay, at least it would’ve been cheaper,” instead of the gas-guzzling Ford Expedition he brought home.

TV personality and personal finance adviser Chiqui Hollmann-Yulo says constant communication, especially where money matters are concerned, is vital to keep a couple’s relationship real. When she came home from the US nine years ago, she had no job. “I wasn’t used to depending on other people for money. As early as 10, I was working already, teaching Hawaiian [dance classes]. My mom taught all of us to work. So when I came home [and I didn’t have a job], that was the first time I had to rely on my husband for money.”

She says her husband, Prandy, gave her a regular budget to pay for household expenses and their children’s needs, but when she went out shopping with her friend, she couldn’t buy all the things she wanted. When she talked to Prandy about it, he told her that maybe she could find friends who had husbands with the same earning capacity as he, to learn how she could live on her budget. Chiqui realized her friend, who had a foreigner husband with an expatriate’s salary, had more than enough money for her shopping sprees at 6750. She took Prandy’s advice and went out with other friends who didn’t spend as much.

Gina, 51, says that when her husband Doods wants to buy something, “I let him. It’s his money, bahala sya.” In the same manner, he doesn’t interfere with purchases from her own bank account. But when they finally came around to building a house, she says they constantly talked about the money that went into the house. “I had to explain to him, for example, why it was less costly in the long run to buy laminated flooring. It was expensive, yes, but it carried a 50-year warranty and is scratch-proof.”

Even if you come from different backgrounds, money issues can be worked out by just talking about it. This makes sure that both of you are on the same page. If there is a problem, spell it out. But as Chiqui says, be calm, “wag kang palaban.”

• Set the stage for the financial discussion by making sure both of you are in a relaxed state, and your surroundings are calm and positive.

• It helps to talk about how you were raised by your parents—how much your allowance was as a child, what you bought with it, your ideas on saving, what your parents did when you asked them to buy you something. Your attitudes about money are really shaped by your family. If you had parents who splurged on you, you will likely do the same to your own kids. If your husband was brought up to be thrifty, don’t be surprised if you two are constantly butting heads.

• In discussing, say, a huge credit card debt you or your husband may have wracked up, focus on what should be done about the problem, instead of fighting about how the debt got so high in the first place. And don’t assume that your way of solving the problem is the right way. Your spouse may have a better idea, so be open about it. “There was a time we didn’t use our credit cards. That was for about three years. Prandy just told me we were spending too much. So now, we use the credit cards only for emergency purchases. If we don’t have the money to buy the item, then we don’t,” says Chiqui.

• Establish common goals as early as you can. If you both want to buy a house, make sure you both understand the sacrifices that need to be made to be able to reach that goal. If you have to borrow money to build that house, talk about the monthly interest rates and how much money both of you have to set aside to make the monthly loan payments.

• A joint account should be set up for the regular expenses of rent, groceries, school projects, or utility bills. Establish a separate bank account for common goals, e.g., down payment on a future house, a grand family vacation, or retirement.

• Couples should try to share information about all their monies even if they keep separate bank accounts. Know how much money is in those accounts, the amount being invested into what trust fund, the insurance and the pension plan, etc. As Chiqui says, “Whatever happens, ’di ka nakatanga.”

• There are many software programs like Quicken or Microsoft Money that will help you and your spouse organize your finances and keep track of your expenses.

Talking about financial matters with your spouse doesn’t have to be World War III. It is important to keep your heads cool, although even if you do fight, it is better than not talking about the problem at all. Honesty is always the key and it is best to immediately lay all your cards on the table. Think of your marriage as a business partnership. Your common goal should be financial health and wellness, just like any company. And to that end, there are ways of sticking to a budget, keeping track of your expenditures, and cutting out the unnecessary expenses.

In a survey a couple of years ago by Fair Isaac, a credit-scoring company in the United States, they asked 1,022 Americans what personal traits were most important to having a long-term relationship. Faithfulness and honesty came in first and second, and financial responsibility came in third. Fourth was sense of humor. Guess what? Sexual compatibility came last for both male and female respondents. Something to think about, right?

(My column, Something Like Life, is published every Friday in the Life section of BusinessMirror. Photo from BusinessMirror)

Dog shoots owner in the back

A Memphis, Tenn., man is in critical condition Wednesday after his dog shot him in the back. (Read it on Fox News.)

This is why I prefer cats.

IMF: Better collection, not new taxes, is needed

By Daxim Lucas
Inquirer 08/01/2007

The Philippines may not need new taxes to shore up the state coffers, but the administration of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo needs to focus on improving revenue collections to ensure the sustainability of the country’s fiscal recovery, the head of the International Monetary Fund (IMF) said.

Speaking to business leaders in Makati City on Tuesday, IMF managing director Rodrigo de Rato stressed that improving tax efficiency was the key to preserving the government’s gains from the enactment of a law that expanded the scope raised the rate of the value-added tax (VAT) and helped to stave off a fiscal crisis.

“The Philippines needs no new taxes, but it needs more people to pay taxes,” he said. (More at IMF on taxes.)

Haven't we been saying this for the longest time? I always thought we didn't to raise the VAT to 12% and penalize the general public for what is largely, the Bureau of Internal Revenue's/government's inefficiency in collecting taxes. The problem is, we ordinary citizens keep on paying our taxes religiously, but most of the money ends up in the pockets of unscrupulous and corrupt government officials anyway. And those who don't pay their taxes aren't even being run after by the BIR. Guess why? To this day, the bureau still hasn't modernized its system – it actually doesn't have a master list of taxpayers in the country.

(The only thing I admire about BIR is its web site. You can download tax forms and read the country's tax laws.)

Trinoma on a Saturday

All these people just sitting around...how ironic considering it's an "activity" center.