Top 12 Cheesiest Love Songs

I received pretty hysterical and amusing/amused comments from a number of people who read my column which featured the “Top 10 Relationship Questions” (See Business Mirror, May 18 or the blog post below). Some of them felt I left out quite a few stupid questions from the list like, “My guilt is eating me. Should I tell him I cheated on him? (Girl have you stepped on your IQ again? What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him!) While others thought I was too blunt in giving advice. To them I say, the truth really hurts girlfriend. It’s time to wake up and smell the coffee before it’s too late. Stop listening to all those Barry Manilow songs damn it!

Speaking of Barry who was one of the forgettable guests on the American Idol (Yey! Soul Patrol rules!), I thought it would be entertaining to list down the cheesiest love songs which defined our relationships back in the day. They inspired us further when we were younger and oh so in love, and made our hearts beat a little faster especially when doing the slow drag with our significant other. Oh and please don’t tell me you didn’t sing them over and over…liars! You still do at Red Box. Hang on…did I just say slow drag? Just frigging dated myself didn’t I? Well, just wait ‘til you see the songs I’ve listed! Okay, one, two, three…sing!

1. Have I Told You Lately by Rod Stewart (Glam rocker was really a frustrated balladeer all along. How many more American Songbooks is he going to release?)

“Have I told you lately that I love you?
Have I told you there's no one else above you?
Fill my heart with gladness,
Take away all my sadness,
Ease my troubles, that's what you do.”

2. Lovin’ You by Minnie Ripperton (Seriously, no one can sing it like Ms. Minnie.)

“Lovin' you is easy ‘cause you're beautiful
Makin' love with you is all I wanna do
Lovin' you is more than just a dream come true
And everything that I do is out of lovin' you
La la la la la la la... doo bee doo doo doo
Ahhhhhhh.”

3. I Honestly Love You by Olivia Newton-John (Poor woman can’t find her missing husband until now.)

“Maybe I hang around here
A little more than I should
We both know I got somewhere else to go
But I got something to tell you
That I never thought I would
But I believe you really ought to know
I love you
I honestly love you.”

4. You Take My Breath Away by Rex Smith (Did anyone watch his Manila show?)

“You, I don't know what to say
You take my breath away
You're every song I sing
You're the music that I play
And you take my breath away.”

5. We’ve Only Just Begun by The Carpenters (A staple at any wedding.)

“Sharing horizons that are new to us,
Watching the signs along the way,
Talking it over just the two of us,
Working together day to day
Together…together.”

6. Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers (No people, it wasn’t Patrick Swayze that Demi Moore was kissing in “Ghost”. It was actually Whoopi Goldberg! Ugh.)

“Oh my love my darling
I've hungered for your touch
A long lonely time
And time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?”

7. Groovy Kind of Love by Phil Collins (The first four stanzas are just as befuddling as “MacArthur Park was melting in the dark…”)

“Any time you want to
You can turn me on to
Anything you want to
Any time at all
When I kiss your lips
Ooh, I start to shiver
Can't control the quivering inside
Wouldn't you agree?
Baby, you and me got a groovy kind of love.”

8. Love Lifts Us Up Where We Belong by Joe Cocker and Jenniffer Warren (How could you, Joe?)

“Love lift us up where we belong
Where the eagles cry, on a mountain high
Love lift us up where we belong
Far from the world we know
Up where the clear winds blow.”

9. You’re the Inspiration by Chicago (Peter Cetera went on to sing more of the same unforgivable love songs.)

“You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more that I need you.”

10. Could It Be Magic by Barry Manilow (Just can’t get away from Barry can we?)

“Baby I love you, come, come, come into my arms,
Let me know the wonder of all of you,
Baby I want you, now, now,
Now and hold on fast,
Could this be the magic at last?”

11. You Light up My Life by Debbie Boone (Now seriously, wasn’t this supposed to be a religious song?)

“Rollin' at sea, adrift on the water
Could it be finally I'm turning for home?
Finally, a chance to say hey,
I love you
Never again to be all alone
You light up my life
You give me hope…”

12. My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion (A bonus folks! Every separated OFW couple’s theme song.)

“Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on.
Far across the distance and spaces between us
You have come to show you go on.
Near, far, wherever you are…”

Yes friends, these were our theme songs. Okay, all together now…Eeew!

(Originally published in Business Mirror, May 25, 2006)